#im a little tipsy but what im trying to say its like dont worry about it

[hardly-a-p3rson]

You don’t have to answer this.

I am very sorry, Vanitas. I say ‘I love you’ very loosely. I didn’t mean to cause any discomfort. I hope what I wrote doesn’t ruin any type of positive image you have of me.

You are genuinely amazing and so interesting I wanted to tell you all the thoughts that came to my mind without thinking. Again, I am extremely sorry.

﹒ 🚬

I probably should tell you that the last dude who did that treated me like shit but that's my trauma and like I didn't mean to be a dick about it bc you didn't know

you're chill I don't think badly of you my reaction is just something I have to deal with. just like don't do it again unless our relationship happens to go further. we're calm I just freaked out like a pussy

[baby-xemnas]

🐯🐻‍❄️ big big love (sort of a draft i want to make into a comic but itll take so long im scared)

pre rship lawbepo - the thought that the boys could suggest law gets into a relationship - ofc while joking that theyd be sad to share captains time with a woman, but it cant be helped! - bepo overhearing and getting upset....ofc law dismisses it, but it still hurts

does captain need a romantic relationship? would it make him happier, does he feel incomplete? its awfully selfish to not want it to happen then ..but where does that leave HIM - bepo chan spiraling into those thoughts... he knew that maybe one day his friendship wont be enough but he couldn't prepare for such a day to come

it would be cute if he didn't even consider himself as a viable sexual partner. they are different races, captain is not gay etc...maybe he rubbed off to a thought of what it would be like to be a cute girl being fucked by law 😳 oh bepo...his thought going there because of logic - okay im a human, and captain is a man, so he would be into a human female, what would that be like? and getting SO embarrassed so quickly because while he knows little about human romance he does know how things work (and how women act around their love interests in literature) so projecting onto that making his head explode. bepo doesnt have time to analyze how he feels he just panics, overwhelmed by the idea and after surprise subsides getting real upset that he is not in fact a human woman...

little did he know that not only its possible but law wants him BADLY. bepo darling he thinks about bending you over and spreading those furry cheeks So Much that if you'd know you would die of embarrassment.

physically it makes no sense cuz hes so big but i love light weight bepo - maybe its the lack of exposure cuz he drinks rarely. but imagine him confessing awkwardly like "haha if i was a human girl i could date captain and never let any other girls near him! 😖" much to 😦😦😦 from the other 3

penshachi: gtg bye (theyll later come back to not find neither law nor bepo cuz theyve gotten back to polar tang to make out in laws cabin. under the guise of "bepo you drank too much we have to go" and when law grabs his hand bepo cant do anything

law is so excited he can barely think straight cuz he only said he doesn't care much for women or human women, trying not to foam at the mouth at the chance with bepo that fell into his lap.

But its an uphill battle how to delicately explain to Bepo that not only Law wants him as he is (male and mink and all) he is the ONLY person he wants. imagine the pressure and fear that he simply misunderstood bepo.

imagine their walk back to the ship from the bar - bepo still tipsy but sobering up from fear because atmosphere got real weird once he said what he said ...and the boys left so they cant even get captain distracted. its just him.

bepo walks behind silent law and anxiety keeps bubbling up to the point bepo starts tearing up because hes not sober so emotions are extra hard to contain and he is so afraid that he ruined everything and what he said will break their relationship now that law knows how he feels. he made it weird and now law hates him 😭

law turning around after he hears bepo sniffle and ofc he puts two and two together

-bepo im not mad or grossed out

-whuh?? 🥺😭

-you dont need to be a girl to keep women away from me you know

-huh??? (at that point bepo is so drowned in worry he forgot what he said)

-you....[sigh] bepo calm down

-sorry...

-if you were a girl you would be my lover?

-dont say it like that captain im sorry its stupid i shouldn't have said it!! 😭😭

-but cant you do it now?

-do what?

-be that

-what, a girl??

-(law closing his eyes in frustration not wanting to call bepo stupid even tho he's being VERY stupid right now) my lover, bepo, it would make me happy if you were my lover now, as you are, you dont need to be a human woman for that

[cue bepo's whole would breaking to the point he almost faints]

[mysteriousdisco]

good evening lovers girls, how did your weekend go?

pencil didnt texted me these last few days but its okay lol, i saw a post that he made and he wasnt looking that cute so im not worrying too much about it, the topic of today’s post is another one. i went on a party on friday that were full of college boys and i was indeed looking for one for me. ive always had this thing for older boys, and the first thing that may come up to your mind is: daddy issues. i fortunately do not have daddy issues, my relationship with my father is great and i love him so much. the question here is: even girls who have a great relationship with their fathers have a tendency to look for a man that gently looks like her dad? some girls may think this is crazy and would deny it until theyre buried 6ft. anyways, the thing is, i love, completely head over heels, big mom heart a tall and older boy. i cannot describe the feelings of being with a man with a capital letter M. of course there are a lot of mens in this world who can have this two characteristics and not be a full MAN, but we pretend it is not most of the time. when there is a group of boys, i always look for the tall one, and latter i go for looks. i just always look for the tallest one, i cant even hide it anymore. there were times in which i wanted the tallest one and he wasnt even the cutest, but if the cutest is a short king… well ladies i may go with the tallest one. its enough on the relationship that i am the short one, we do not need both of us short, or else were going to end up looking like were dwarfs. the feeling of being with one big ass tall boy and him leaning on to me is just chef kisses, absolute cinema. it also gives a more safe environment vibes dont you agree? i am already way too short so it is not hard to be taller then me, but when i say that i like the tall one i talking about the ones that i have to look up, almost break my neck, to look in their eyes. unfortunately, this weekend i didnt achieve my goal to find me a older, taller, and strong boyfriend. but it was okay, because you know what? i could be there and just stare and a lot of beautiful people, and ladies, thats just a sight for sore eyes. i had a great time tho, it was nice. at the beginning we had some great musics and i could dance feeling the music as i sure love to, with my lovely beer in hands. i may say tho, i almost got together with a french boy but he was already way to tipsy at the beginning, and lets agree that that was a boy, not a man. and to add up, the thing that i love is the whole connection. first i look for my target and observe who hes with and if he has a girl. second i start the good and old eye contact trying to draw his attention but in a slightly way. third, if hes also doing eye contact i try to get closer but no too much, i could try to dance my way closer, or go to the bathroom or something just to give him another clue. fourth if he is really going on my flow i try to get a little away from my friends, because most of mans are a little shy to talk to you when your surrounded with a lot of your friends (but girls keep in mind, dont go too far we dont know his intentions yet so be a little close so your girls can see you but not too close so he can go talk to you). and if im luck enough hell come up to me, well chat a little, dance, drink and have a great time. unfortunately that didnt happened on friday but it is fine girls, our world doesnt revolve around men.

have a great sleep my honeys, the bees who raised you would be so proud of you today! s2

[slxtarchive]

A Conrad Fisher best friends to lovers one. Denial from both of them and angst even though they both love each other. Maybe drunk kissing/jealousy?

SOBER THOUGHTS DRUNK ACTIONS

PAIRINGS. conrad fisher x fem reader

SUMMARY. your beginning of the summer party takes a turn…

WARNINGS. drinking, making out, cheating (not really)

AUTHORS NOTE. i love this one!! the emotional knees always get me! hope you enjoy <3 not proofread yet

WORD COUNT. to be counted.

the only thing that was distracting you from the fact that conrad had his arm around another girl was the loud music booming from the speakers.

you guys throw a massive beginning of the summer party now that you guys were back in cousins.

you had gotten there just a week before to plan it and were talking about it even before summer started.

so now that it was here, you were supposed to be having an awesome time.

confirmed: you were not having an awesome time.

belly was with her new summer bae; cam cameron. steven was with another girl he’d met at his job. jere was somewhere off with who knows…and conrad? conrad was with a girl who looked disappointingly beautiful.

your stare burned holes on the side of his face.

you were raging because even though you both are super close best friends you’ve had feelings for him for forever and you felt as if you should’ve done something about it before he was able to get a girlfriend.

but now here you are, staring at them laughing and giggling with their feet dipped in the pool like the cute little couple they were. ugh.

you wanted to bury your thoughts and feelings so you went ahead and served you some spiked punch that steven had made.

as time went on you had one too many of those cups. you weren’t blackout drunk per se but you would be waking up to a killer headache the next morning that’s for sure.

you stumbled outside carrying your red cup in one hand and your phone in the other.

you walked up to conrad and his new girl not even thinking of what to say.

“oh hey y/n…” conrad had suspicion in his voice. “a-are you okay?”

conrad had never seen you like this. sure maybe you guys have gotten tipsy a few times together but never this drunk.

“oh i’m fine connie dont worry a-about me!” you slurred patting his shoulder. “and you are?” you eyes the girl next to him.

“oh im nicole” she smiled. “it’s really nice to meet you.”

“mmm yeah nice to meet you! i didn’t know little connie here had a girlfriend!” you looked at him then back at her.

“oh uh it’s something fairly new…” she admitted awkwardly. “hopefully soon though right?” she tried to laugh it off.

“y/n, i think we should get you some water.” he tried to guide you back toward the back door of the house.

“oh no no! you wouldn’t wanna leave your girlfriend here all alone would you??” you grabbed his arm and pushed it off you. “by all means don’t let me ruin this beautiful conversation you’re having.”

you stumbled backward but didn’t realize you hit the edge of the pool.

conrad tried to grab your hand but it was too late as you fell onto your back into the water.

you didn’t realize what was going on until you genuinely couldn’t breathe due to the water that made its way inside your throat and nose.

you heard someone else jump in and grab you pulling you up.

you were coughing and choking on the water gagging trying to take a breath.

“fuck fuck fuck!” you heard conrad’s voice as he lead you to the edge of the pool. “come on y/n. you’re okay.”

you grabbed hold of the ledge trying to keep yourself up as you tried to cough and get some air.

as you were calming down you saw jere above you lending you a hand.

you grabbed his hand and allowed him to pull you so that you were on your knees trying to breathe slowly.

“what the fuck happened?” he asked conrad.

“dude she’s fucked up right now. i gotta go take her to her room. she’s done for the night.” he said. his words had to ur blood boiling.

you had cleared your throat enough to speak. “you don’t make decisions for me. i’m…i’m fine!” you stumbled away heading toward the gate that led to the beach.

you tried to scrunch up your shorts to get rid of the water as well as your shirt. you heard someone else behind you and the gate slam.

“y/n! get back here.” conrad.

“leave me alone.” you said. not bothering to yell it out.

“look, let’s just go back inside so that you can clean up. i know you’re not comfortable in these wet clothes and neither am i.” he grabbed your arm once again and for a split second you were going to push him away but he was right.

you hated being in wet clothes.

“i’m only doing this because i want to.” you muttered walking back to the house.

as soon as you made it upstairs you went straight to your room and conrad followed you.

you turned around, annoyed. “i don’t remember inviting you to come in.”

he put his hands up in defense. “i just need to make sure you’re okay. you need to hydrate.”

“i’m fine. i don’t need you to babysit me.” you start brushing out your hair. it’s the one think that would calm you down. to have untangled hair.

“i know you don’t. why the fuck are you acting like this?” he was getting irritated by the minute.

“go back with your fucking girlfriend conrad.” you dismissed him.

“no. i am here because i need to make sure you are okay.” he walked further into your bathroom.

“whatever.” you mumbled looking at yourself.

“can you look at me?” he sternly questioned. “why are you being weird?”

“if you’re gonna be here can you be here silently.” you were persistent on showing him how mad you were. even if it was unfair.

conrad’s frustration was really starting to blind him.

he moved you so that you were looking at him not realizing how close you two were.

you were leaned against the bathroom counter hands on it trying to hold yourself; his face inches from yours.

“what’s wrong?” he was searching your eyes for something.

your eyes started to sting from the tears that were forming. “nothing.” you whispered.

his eyebrows furrowed. he saw how emotional you were becoming and he hated it. he didn’t know what to do.

you were looking at him surveying his face which was doing the same thing.

you looked at him with love. you couldn’t help it. you tilted your head to the side shutting your eyes causing a few tears to fall.

looks like you were an emotional drunk.

you then leant your head on his shoulder silently trying to stop crying.

his arms wrapped around you.

you guys stood there for a moment. you then took a deep breath and sniffed to stop your nose from running.

you lifted up your head to meet the same blue eyes. your breathing stopped for a second as he wasn’t making eye contact with you. he was looking at your lips like he was thinking of his next step.

you didn’t know what to do but before you could act out on anything, he connected your lips.

you weren’t sure how to respond until his hands grabbed your face taking dominance of the kiss causing you to start kissing back.

as he molded his lips with yours you breathed in his scent. he smelled like the ocean and vanilla.

he tasted like the fruit punch you were drinking earlier. his hands were soft and warm making you feel so safe.

he pushed his tongue into your mouth earning a whimper from him.

he then tapped your leg and whispered, “jump.” causing you to follow his words.

you jumped as he carried you and placed you on the counter.

his hands were on your hips continuing to push you further back until you had to prop yourself on your hands to keep yourself from hitting your head or falling against the mirror.

you continued to kiss for a few more seconds before you both had to catch your breath.

his mouth was next to your ear. you could here every single breath, every hitch. you closed your eyes taking in the moment.

“i love you, y/n.” he whispered in your ear. “for a while i’ve felt this way.”

he was admitting it all now.

you were stunned. your eyes opened up immediately sobering up.

“i…i…” you stuttered.

he pulled back, both of you face to face now.

“you don’t have to say anything but i need you to know how i feel.” he reassured.

“i love you.” you said.

he immediately smiled

you smiled back starting to giggle excessively.

he kissed you once more then pulled away.

“can we please get ready for bed and continue to tell each other how much we love each other.” he asked nuzzling his nose to your cheek.

“mmm, yes please.”

[black-rosewolf66]

Hello its one of my shitty life posts again dont mind it scroll past it^^

So the last time i posted one of my problems about being weird and too reactive during a play time…well i wanted to give it a try again and i put my worries away and asked for it…i never asked for anything…i just dont like to ask for anything because i grow up having it rejected anyway…but as i was asking it i knew from his respons that he will invite her too…i kinda minded it,i just knew she and i are going to have an argument at some point i knew from the way she looked at me the way she talked as if i wasnt there in our first meeting too…but i didnt say a word i thought that maybe i can show her that she misundertood me…and i wanted her to acknowledge me…

As always im still mentally shit…but at least i try to be better…

So i arrive at the house they are there speaking and drinking…when we get a call there children is in danger so the father of the child rushes out never answering her questions about what is the problem whats happening the door closes and there we are the two passionate stubborn woman sitting near the table im on the floor she sits on the chair…i begin thinking well today is as fucked up as it can be i started to get nervous so i tried to make an advance so we can speak and maybe we can know eachother more…she than procieds to tell me in the most offensive way in a trembling angry voice that she isnt consenting to the play that would had happen tonight…i was a little bit shocked she was a careing mother you could see that she may have been upset and a little bit tipsy from the alcohol and the thing with hher children so i remain calm as usually…i look at her and i give her a smile that its okay i can understand that…then she tells me she never had clients who where like this mentally unstable and basically a child with no life experiences…and here i am she doesnt notice but im hurt and now angry…she just stepped on one of the things that i hate being said to me…that im a child a basically had no life up until this moment…like yeah sure you may not know my past but nobody has it easy trust me…you dont have the right to assume that im acting the way i act because its the usual children wants attention drama and things like that bullshit….i had to grow up early i basically wasnt a child i was never i couldnt be…and you say i just grow up because i turned legally 19 and you assume that every 19 year old is the same because they never faced the challenges is life…well fuck i may not had my school and yet..but i did pay my checks i cleaned my house i cooked i was the one worrying for my family for our financial status i was the one thinking from night to night how i can fix this shit family how i can make my father undestand that he has to have more oppinion because he isnt a doll to get dragged around he was like a bomb ready to be exploided i had to teach my mother that it isnt okay to use everyone as a punch bag for her stress she had to manage her anger she had to be stopped…i was the one calming my brother that everything will be fine if they stay stong and hope for the better future that they have to move if i cant fix it i was the on shouldering this huge mess and im the one getting out of the child age and into the huge life? Like yeah thanks i had to take jobs at a young age i had to make everything okay and i could never let anyone discover that we have this huge ass shit behind the courtains of the perfect family image that we created…yeah thank you fucking much for saying that my pain doesnt matter because that just how teenagers feels at this age…im so fucking gratefull….so after she told me that i cracked a laugh as always to surpress these nasty emotions..bad habit but it can and it did save my life several times…and told her i already know it she doesnt have to tell me i just dont have the manual to read from how can i change this..how can i change the things/the habits of growing up in a survival mode… and she tells me that yeah there is no manual because every person is different but as you grow up you have to change and it will be stupid to blame everything on my parents if i cant change it,because it will only be my laziness that i still couldnt change even though i was an adult and i cant blame my behaviour and my mindset on my parents my whole life… yeah here we can see the tipical answer we can predict…she doesnt know why im confused well its should be easy to change right? You just have to relax…you never know how?you just have to learn,its easy…from where? Well you are an adult so you should know?….khm i just wasted my time trying to explane my self to her and it went on and on i had a looot of mean sayings played in my head but i never sayed them…i was thinking why should i…she doesnt want to know it…she never asked it she just strayed up judged me…from the moment we met…

I will continue it on the next post…

[moonchildstyles]

Something i can totally see is Prosecco h’s girl being not insecure at all about their 🥸life but maybe she is at a girls night and they’re all talking about what they do with their bfs and she’s like oh me and H never have done that (about like idk choking or tying up or going bare IDK) and theyre like omfg what?!!! All guys are Into that h def did it with his ex I’m surprised you guys haven’t and she’s like 😔oh no and then gets in her head about them like omg he never told me he was unhappy with what we do ☹️ so when she goes home she tries to initiate whatever they were talking about and h is like 😁but also whoa baby we have to talk about this and she takes it as a rejection 😔runs into the bathroom and h is like ??? then comes out a few mins later like goodnight 😔 and h is like baby it’s ok let’s just talk 😔and she’s like forget it it was stupid 🥺but he is the best and eventually gets it out of her like the girls weee just talking and I got worried ☹️that you aren’t satisfied with what we do even though I love what we do I just want you to be happy too ☹️☹️and he’s like baby I’ve never been happier esp with our 🥸life and she’s like bud but but the girls said and he’s like umm hello I don’t care what the girls say?? I’m with you I care what you say 🥰and makes her feel all better she’s just his silly girl being upset worried for nothing bc he loves her

like she and h are still trying to figure each other out like sex w each other is still new and they don't know everything yet and just its still in those early stages when she goes to a girls night and gets giggly tipsy and when they all talk about these different things and y/n is just.....yeah me and h dont do that lol like shes not thinking anything of it bc the girls all know its new and its when she gets the reaction of noooo way omg!! every guy loves that omg ??? and then shes immediately like...........oh no and shes then overanalyzing like has he ever tried to do something like that and I just shut him down??? has he ever said something and I just never listened??? and when he comes by to pick her up and take her back to his place shes tipsy enough that she tries to like initiate something but h is like.....sweetheart not tonight okay? and shes just ?!?!?! bc she thought he would want this and her and now this isn't going like it did in her head so she gets really embarrassed and like.....oh okay sorry and h is :(((((( but he waits until shes sober the next morning before they talk about it a little more and thats when she tells him all the things and what kind of was going through her head bc she knows hes more experienced and she wants him to be happy w her:( and thats when he gets all sweet and kissing her face and holding her cheeks and love:( I love the things we do ive never been happier or more satisfied than I am with u:( im having so much fun learning you and finding what you like and I love teaching you new things and :( I don't want you to do something just bc the girls said something:(

[sgtjbbhasmyheart]

Drunk Texting Is(n’t) Bad for Your Health- Chapter Two

Series Summary: Talk about your unconventional meet-cute! Bucky receives a text by mistake requesting he prove he's not Reader's sister. The easy dialogue between Reader and Bucky sparks a natural friendship, but could it lead to more? Bucky still deems himself unworthy of any form of affection or love. Reader is hellbent to prove him wrong. With the help of some (meddling) friends along the way, Bucky may get his happily-ever-after after all.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word count: 2921

Warnings: bad language words, blink and you’ll miss the angst, just some fluff

A/N: divider credit- @firefly-graphics

DO NOT copy or replicate without my permission

You awoke with a start, feeling as if you were late for work or something important and forgot to set your alarm. Your heart beat an erratic tattoo against your ribcage. Scrambling for your cell phone, you blindly reached across the side table near your bed in a panic. Unplugging the phone, you brought the device an ungodly closeness to your face. It was only 6:17. On Saturday.

Your pulse throbbed behind your eyeballs, and a strange stickiness coated the inside of your mouth. Did you drink that much last night?

How could you not? Timmons was a fair boss, and you enjoyed your job, but that dude loved the sound of his own voice.

The quarterly business dinners were mandatory for all employees, even for the P.A.s. Typically, they weren’t so bad, but last night, Timmons felt the need to toot his own horn for landing a massive contract with Stark Industries slash The Avengers. He went on and on about how great it was for the firm.

He was like a giant kid in a candy store with his ramblings. ‘We will be promoting the face of The Avengers and everything that goes with it,’ he spouted off like the firm was god’s gift to public relations.

You groaned at the reminder of last night’s presentation. The contract wasn’t even in effect yet, and you were sick of the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. Timmons could be a real buzz kill.

Rolling to your back, you brought your phone up to tap the screen to read the emails you received overnight. On display was a text from 11:04 by someone named James. It read: “Goodnight, (Y/N).”

Your mind went back to last night again, trying to recall who this James was. He must be significant if you plugged his contact information into your phone already. Had you met someone last night?

Drawing a blank, you clicked on the text bubble to pull up the thread. Briefly scanning through the numerous texts, everything came rushing back. In an attempt to text your sister, Robyn, you mistakenly texted this mysterious, James.

You felt like an utter buffoon when you learned he wasn’t Robyn. You always did have a way with the cute boys. Probably why you were single. You groaned out loud as you read on.

You im safely inside my apartment. Pretty sure no one followed me home

James Did you triple check the lock on the front door?

You yes dad yeesh

James There are a lot of bad people out there. Just want to make sure you’re safe.

You sounds like you watch the news too much but its sweet of u to care

James I know from experience.

You r u the bad guy or have u been the one mugged?

James Let’s just say I have friends that have dealt with the bad things of the world.

You right i almost forgot ur a military-trained assassin athlete mchottie

James Did you ever send your sister a text?

You shit thanks for reminding me i have such a crazy story to tell her

James Only good things, I hope.

You oh yeah all the good things an enigmatic yet handsome stranger cares more about my safety than any of my ex-boyfriends ever did.

James My ma raised me right.

You id say

James_ I hate to cut this short, but I think you need your rest. Especially if you’re meeting your sister tomorrow._

You i dont want to agree but ur probably right

You whats ur name btw?

James My name? Why? Do you plan to continue texting me after tonight?

You duh ur fun to talk to

James Oh.

You or not its cool if u dont want to

James It’s James.

You nice to meet u james im (y/n)

James Nice to meet you as well.

You my sister just texted me back and were still meeting at 9 i should go 

You goodnite james

James Goodnight, (Y/N).

Oh. My. God. Had you seriously drunk-flirted with a stranger and offered to keep texting him? You had no shame with a few drinks in you.

You brought a hand up to pinch the bridge of your nose and sighed loudly.

What did you know of this James? He had a New York area phone number. Check. He could have been a real dick about your mistake but wasn’t. Understanding. Check. He worried about you getting home safely in your inebriated state. Caring. Check. Not too forthcoming with the nine to five. Secretive. Check. His mouth looked so soft and plush, and his eyes were made to drown in. Gorgeous. Check.

A heat simmered beneath your skin as you recounted the shortlist you’d made. Were you lusting over someone you’d exchanged less than forty texts with? Had you somehow woken back up in high school?

Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you stared at the screen displaying the message thread. Were you really considering this? You nodded your head to answer your own question. Where was the harm in a little shameless flirting? If worse came to worst, you could always block him.

With your mind made up, you began typing into your phone, constructing an apology.

You Good morning! First off, I want to apologize for the way I behaved over text last night.

You Though, I do like to imbibe in the occasional drink or two, I am, by no means, a lush.

You Please take everything I said with a grain of salt. Apparently, I get loose-lipped and cheeky with free wine. 😐

You Again, I’m sorry and understand if you wanted to cease our correspondence for my behavior.

You blew out a breath and tossed your phone aside. It was up to fate now and a stranger named James.

You laid in your bed for several minutes staring at the ceiling, contemplating between whether to send a ‘haha just kidding’ text and what the weather would be like, so you could forego shaving your legs in the shower today.

Your phone chimed during the pondering of hair removal, indicating a new text. You knew it was James proclaiming you a freak and to forget his number, but secretly, you hoped it was Robyn canceling today.

Seizing the phone from your mattress top, your heart’s beat increased with each second you went without looking at the screen. Finding the courage, you flipped the device over to read the message.

James Quite the formal apology, Ms. Professor.

You smiled at the text. It didn’t tell you to pound sand or eat shit. No, it was teasing and in jest. You sighed in relief.

You Cease our correspondence too much?

James No, no it was perfect if this was 1863, and you were breaking up with me via telegraph.

You Stop!

James Exactly! ‘Never speak to me again!’ Stop. ‘It’s not you, it’s me.’ Stop.

A belly laugh disrupted the tranquil air of your bedroom. You quickly thumbed out a reply once you caught your breath.

You You’re incorrigible.

James I’m glad to see you are using proper capitalization and punctuation this morning.

You Ha!

You When you are buzzed and/or tipsy, capitals and periods be damned. Like you’re so perfect when you’re drunk.

James We all have our flaws.

Was he implying he was a sloppy texter when drunk, too? You shrugged it off as him being cryptic again.

You What are you doing up so early on a Saturday? I didn’t wake you, did I?

You were suddenly stricken with guilt. You should have waited for a more reasonable hour to send out rapid-fire apology texts. Not at 6:36 in the morning. You didn’t want last night’s behavior hanging over you, though. Better to clear the air now than later. You could always ask for forgiveness again if you had disturbed his sleep.

James I had just gotten back from my run when I saw your texts. I have training this morning.

You Oh, right. For your hush-hush, super top secret mission/quidditch game.

You You ever gonna tell me what you really do?

James_ Maybe. Someday._

How far away was someday? Was he planning to text you until you both died or until he got bored? How did texting relationships even work?

You Or is it one of those situations where if you told me you’d have to kill me?

James 😈

You There you go again--being all mysterious.

James Keep ‘em guessing and coming back for more.

You Has that strategy worked well for you in the past?

James Got you to text me again this morning, didn’t it?

You scoffed at what he had suggested. He was correct, but your stubborn streak would deny everything.

You The only reason I texted you this morning was to apologize for acting like a drunken fool last night.

And to squash the curiosity burning in your veins. But he didn’t need to know that.

James Oh.

The reply caused you to furrow your brow and your stomach to drop. You regretted not adding more levity to your last text. Of course, it wasn’t the only reason you were drawn to him.

You I appreciate that the selfie you sent wasn’t a dick pic. And you genuinely seemed to care about me getting home safely. Thank you.

You And maybe- a teeny, tiny bit- is honestly interested in getting to know you better.

You waited on pins and needles for his text, watching the pulsing ellipsis on your screen. Was he just humoring you?

James Hook. Line. Sinker.

Reading his response generated a flush from your jaw to your hairline. You growled in embarrassment. You fell for the oldest trick in the book. He baited you for a compassionate answer, and you delivered beautifully. Hook, line, and sinker, indeed.

You You’re an ass. I take everything back.

James Don’t be mad. I wasn’t sure how it was going to go, but you played into my trap wonderfully.

James If it makes you feel any better, all kidding aside, I want to get to know you better too.

James I fell asleep with a smile on my face last night and woke up with one this morning.

James Because of you, (Y/N).

A flutter broke apart in your chest. You hadn’t time-traveled back to high school; no, this was junior high territory.

You You’re lucky you’re so damn charming, James.

James Doll, you have no idea.

The subway ride into Manhattan usually gave you the chance to get a little reading in since it took nearly fifty minutes from Queens. Not today, though. You spent the entirety of the train ride texting back and forth with James. It was mundane stuff, but you were getting a grasp of who James was as a person.

You Favorite color?

James Black. You?

You Blue.

You Favorite ice cream flavor?

James Chocolate. Yours?

You Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia.

James I didn’t realize we were getting specific.

You We weren’t, but that’s my favorite.

You Favorite movie?

James I like the classics- The Wizard of Oz, It’s A Wonderful Life, Frankenstein.

You I have too many to list, so don’t ask.

You Okay. Lightning round because I’m almost to my stop.

James Where are you going again?

You paused your reply for a brief second, wondering if you should divulge your destination. You’d known James less than twenty-four hours; although, it felt like weeks after this morning. Where was the harm in telling him where you were meeting your sister? There were nearly nine million people in this city. There was no way you’d ever bump into each other.

You A bakery in the Upper East Side called Two Little Red Hens. Ever been?

James Don’t think I have.

You Well, since you like chocolate, they have a fantastic cake called Brooklyn Blackout. Super rich but delicious.

James Sounds right up my alley.

You Cats or dogs?

James I’m gone too much, so cats.

The answer piqued your interest. Maybe he was an athlete. Wouldn’t it be practice and not training, though? Or he’s FBI or CIA.

You Socks on or off for sleeping?

James Off.

You Silver or gold?

James Silver.

You Morning, noon, or night?

James Night.

You How do you take your coffee?

James Room for sugar and creamer.

You Boxers or briefs?

James Boxer briefs.

You laughed out loud, looking around the subway car to see if anyone was paying attention to you. Per usual, they weren’t.

You Touché.

As soon as the train stopped, you gathered your purse close to your body and made for the exit. You followed the crowd of fellow passengers through the turnstile and ascended the stairs onto street level.

The morning sunlight caressed your skin like a warm blanket. The humidity wasn’t too bad, yet, but the threat of afternoon thunderstorms still hung in the air.

Even with the reasonably early hour, the sidewalk was stuffed with people, carrying to-go coffee cups or shopping bags. You fought for your little spot of real estate on the grimy concrete.

Stopping at a red traffic light, waiting to cross, you typed out another question for James.

You Pineapple on pizza--yay or nay?

The light changed as you finished, and the throng of pedestrians around you guided you across the street. You spotted Robyn outside the bakery as your phone dinged with a new text alert.

“Wow, I’m surprised you made it on time,” Robyn said as you hugged hello.

You looked at the clock on your phone. 8:58. “You and me both, sister.” Glancing back at your phone’s screen, you giggled.

James What kind of monster puts pineapple on their pizza??

“What’s so funny?” Robyn asked as you accompanied her through the bakery’s door.

With a grin on your face, you punched out a quick reply:

You Well, it was nice knowing you, James. It was a swell friendship while it lasted--a whole 11 ½ hours.

Robyn elbowed you softly in the ribs with a look on her face, seeking an explanation.

“Ow,” you grunted. “What?”

“You tell me. I half expected a zombie to walk through the doors today after your text last night. Not Suzie Sunshine.”

You both edged closer to the counter as the line in front of you dwindled.

James Say it ain’t so, doll! Pineapple on pizza? Really??

You let out a low chortle as you skimmed the text. You glimpsed up at Robyn as you shuffled forward in line again. “Believe me, I’m pretty hungover,” you replied, shoving your phone in your back pocket. “It’s a funny story. I’ll tell you everything when we sit.”

Robyn stared at you warily, still trying to figure out what had come over you. “Okay,” she conceded, stepping to the register to order.

With each of you supplied with an iced coffee and a peach ginger scone, you found an empty table by a window along 2nd Avenue and proceeded to tell Robyn about James.

When you stopped to catch your breath, remembering the whirlwind the last twelve hours had been, you peered at your sister for her reaction.

She stared at you like you’d grown a second head. She shook her head in disbelief. “(Y/N), what where you thinking?”

Your brow pinched in confusion. Was she actually scolding you? You crossed your arms over your chest. “I was thinking about how my big sister is always telling me to meet new people and how it’s time I thought about settling down.”

“Not like this it’s not,” she hissed. “This is how your body parts end up in someone’s freezer!”

You choked on the piece of scone you shoved in your mouth before she started ridiculing you. After coughing to clear your airway and taking a sip of your iced coffee, you leered at Robyn. “Oh, my god! Dramatic much? Have you been binge-watching Dateline again? Jesus Christ, Robyn, he’s harmless,” you countered.

“You think you’ll be so careful, but you’ll let one little detail slip, and he’ll find you,” Robyn said before taking a pull from her coffee.

“You mean, like, how I was meeting you at Two Little Red Hens at nine o’clock?”

Robyn’s mouth popped open in an O. “What the hell, (Y/N)?” she stage-whispered. “Are you trying to get yourself kidnapped and sold into sex trafficking?”

“Please,” you drew out in one long syllable. “He doesn’t know what I look like. How would he snatch me?”

“He could look you up on Facebook.”

“Without a last name?” You shook your head, no.

“What about a reverse search on your number?” Robyn asked, pushing the plate holding her scone away. “That’s a thing.”

“Perhaps, but it seems like a lot of effort for a mistake I made. It wasn’t like he was seeking me or anyone else out.”

Robyn huffed out a breath and folded her arms in exasperation. Always the protective big sister. You could tell you were breaking her down, though.

“C’ mon, Robbie. It’s all in innocent fun. I’m not saying I’m hoping he’ll turn out to be Mr. Right, but the banter is fun,” you remarked. “James is charming and witty and nice to talk to.”

Robyn shook her head once more, frowning. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

You reached across the table for her hand and squeezed gently. “Me too.” You smiled slyly, remembering last night’s dinner and Timmons gushing about The Avengers. “If not, I know how to get ahold of a couple of centenarians who know chivalry isn’t dead.”

Chapter One | Chapter Three

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[problematicfavesareproblematic]

Band of Brothers-

Cute/charming things they say when they walk into a room and see you/you walk into a room and they see you:

Babe: 

“oh SHIIIIIT! There’s my BABY! Do you see her, fellas? GodDAMN, I’m a lucky sonofabitch!” 

(you blush so hard and are just like Babe, we’re at work stahp it but he dgaf).

It’s embarrassing and always makes Martin glare so imploringly at you that you’ll go over to Babe just to make him be quiet. Because, you know, YOU’RE AT WORK. 

This bitch is shameless when it comes to loving on you, having once come to stand next to you when Sink was giving an important announcement and straight-up PINCHED. YOUR. ASS. 

how you didn’t yelp is a miracle, and how no one else seemed to notice was equally astounding 

(oh, the boys noticed. They kinda shipped it tho, so it was more a matter of hiding their joy). 

Needless to say, it only happened the once, something you made Babe swear after you pulled him aside and punched him in the arm. 

Don’t worry, you kissed it better.

Roe: 

bb boy doesn’t say anything at first, 

the smile he saves just for you is playing at his lips as you walk up to meet him, tho.

The moment you’re close enough that he can smell the  sweet mint of your gum, he’ll whisper something sweet like “hey you” or “mon amor”, or maybe just your name 

(bc let’s be honest, his accent is 10 out of 10 and he could read me the dictionary and I’d still rock an ugly giggle/snort combo). 

If it’s a more serious situation, like if you’re hurt oh lordy

he will literally shout your name until either you shout back or someone tells him where you are. 

I could see him being a face holder, in the sense that he does it to reassure himself that you’re okay and make sure he has your undivided attention. 

Since getting injured in Carentan, you hadn’t been as close to the frontlines as you had been, so when you were needed you are REALLY NEEDED, 

and even if he didn’t like it Gene knew you were the best at what you did. 

Gene also feels better if he knows where you are.

 Even when you eventually return to Easy, he will feel better knowing which Foxhole you’re in, and knowing he’s seen to it your first aid kit was fully stocked.

Liebgott: 

THAT FUCKER’S SMIRKING AT YOU SO OPENLY that whoever he had been talking to instantly goes 

*sigh* y/n’s just came in, didn’t she? 

And he won’t even ANSWER because he’s already shoving past them to walk up and eye you with obvious satisfaction. 

“Bout time you showed up,” he’d say casually, hands finding your hips giving them a quick squeeze. 

“Sooner we get briefed, sooner we can get outta here.” 

(You’re not fully sure what ‘getting outta here’ entails, but if the way he looked at you was any indication, you had a feeling it didn’t involve anything less than PG-13 sexy times.)

Bull: 

“Hey, little lady.”

He’ll say it no matter how tall or short you are, how wide or how narrow.

He will always say it to you that when you first see each other in the morning 

(sometimes, you wake up to Hey, little lady being kissed into the soft skin behind your ear.) 

(Once while on a 48 hour pass, he’d woken you up that way in a REAL bed and the two of you had nearly gotten him sent up Curahee for being late coming back because you’d ended up spending more time in that bed than either of you anticipated Whoops)

(Even if he had been late, he definitely wouldnt have minded, tbh. He fully considered going AWOL if it mean neither of you had to leave the bed)

but throughout the day he’s more concerned about getting his hands on some part of you whenever the two of you had been apart- 

even if it was for like five minutes. 

Nothing over the top- holding his arm up and out so you can step into his side, a press of his lips to your temple. 

Idk guys i just feel like he’d just love you so much that everyone would be able to see, which they do and they all think it’s fucking cute

Buck: 

He doesn’t always call out when he sees you, mostly because your eyes always seem to find his. 

The two of you could be across a field from one another with a thousand angry Germans between you, guns blazing, and the two of you would always spot each other like two honing beacons. 

If its downtime and you guys don’t have to be on your guard he’ll ABSOLUTELY wolf whistle in at you, 

You’ll see a stupid grin lighting up his face as he nods in your direction. 

“Take a look, boys. I think we’ve got ourselves a…” 

and he always waits until you’re close enough that he can wrap a quick arm around your waist and pat your hip. 

“Certified babe-asaurus!” 

(in a foxhole somewhere, a wild Babe’s head pokes up in confusion). 

You groan and boo him, and whoever he was with inevitably ends up booing him too.

But he doesn’t care because seeing you smile makes him so happy you guys.

Lipton: 

If you’re in public, he will quietly step up beside you and place his hand gently between your shoulder blades.

He’s not super into PDA, which you didn’t mind because what he didn’t show in physical touch he more than made up for in open admiration. 

He is in awe of you 

sometimes he worries you forget how highly he thinks of you, how highly everybody thinks of you 

(you don’t forget, but he’s just one of those people who will get intrusive thoughts like that and sometimes has a hard time shaking them so plz just let him say it ok?)

so he always whispers some praise with his greeting 

(Hey, beautiful...Doin’ okay, love?...What’re you thinking, brilliant girl?). 

It’d probably seem like overkill if anyone else did it but Carwood is just so goddamn sincere that you can’t help but duck a quick kiss to his shoulder. 

HOWEVER! 

If you two kids are alone….

OH BOI. 

He is handsy, coming up and caging you with his arms, 

probably pulling you close quickly so you lose your balance and he can hold you a lil bit.

(He likes to sweep you off your feet im so sorry)

 That’s when his praises are hushed and sighed between long slow kisses. 

Nixon: 

Like Liebgott, he’s a snarky motherfucker who will get the most self-satisfied grin on his face the moment he sees you, instantly turning on the famous Lewis Nixon charm ( something he’d long since decided belonged to you and you alone.)

“Uh oh,” he’d say, looking you up and down before raising an eyebrow.

(bc your hot but also he doesn’t want to get all flirty if you’re hurt or sick or something’s up bc ur not just something to flirt with- YOU ARE A BADASS WITH BADASS RESPONSIBILITIES AND THAT WAS SOMETHING HE very often and sometimes FOUND SO HOT THAT IT MADE HIM THINK HE MAY HAVE AN AUTHORITY FETISH this has been a PSA) 

“Here comes trouble.”

you roll your eyes, the behavior you once found cocky and arrogant having becoming endearing somewhere between Toccoa and England. 

He has absolutely no qualms about PDA (verbal or physical), so it’s up to you to reign him in 

(especially if he’s a lil tipsy, poor Luz didn’t need to hear Lewis’s sloppy and shameless plea for you to let him eat you out on top of piano he’d found in the attic of the billet he’d been assigned. You weren’t able to look at George for a week without wanting to die of embarrassment and Lewis Nixon didn’t get any for two weeks. He was sure to never make such a mistake ever again) 

And Dick had probably grown blind to how Lewis liked to pull you his lap and run his hands up and down your thighs while you played with his hair. 

Also, like Lipton, he probably saves the more explicit acts of PDA for when the company has scheduled downtime 

(but only bc you told him he needed to keep it in his pants any other time he tried to get cute with you)

but you can bet your ass his hand will always try to tap it (your ass, that is.)at least once

a day when he isn’t supposed to.

That’s when you get to punish him whoopsies

Dick: 

since the day you were introduced to Dick in Georgia, the boy always made sure to stand when you entered a room and will call you “ma’am”,

(you know, LIKE HE DOES ONLY BECAUSE HE HAS TO FOR SOBEL BC RANKS. I feel like he has a “we salute the woman, not the rank” speech queued up for anyone who tried to give him shit for it BUT THAT’s JUST ME)

but he has a knowing look in his eye that makes the term ‘ma’am’ feel anything but impersonal.

It confused the shit out of replacements, who would automatically stand because their superior officer (that would be Big Dick Winters) did- only to see you standing there in your fatigues with a coffee in each hand with a look of mutual confusion on your face. 

(bc while they like you, but they’re confused still bc while you’re a boss ass bitch,  you didn’t outrank him...or at least they theink you dont?) 

Babe had been the one to ask you about the longing looks and lingering glances, and when you didn’t know how to answer him you’d gone to Nixon, 

He’d burst into tearful laughter and was unable to get it together enough to explain anything.

Dick had been the one to bring it up the next time they were alone, weirdly enough, as she proofread his report for errors that didn’t exist. 

Because you warrant it, he’d said when pressed for a reason why he greeted her like a ranking officer, looking down at his boots as they both blushed like teenagers at a school dance. 

After that, he still stood wherever you walked in

but now he made a point to brush his fingers against yours at some point during the time you were together. 

He’s the definition of a slow burn friends-to-lovers story, and boi can get spicy LEMME TELL YOU.

(this is my first writing thing ever plz let a sister know if there are any glaring typos. Also i’m roughly 97 years late to fandom but I brought y’all some starbucks so plz let me in thank you)

[p1nkwitch]

Hi, I really like you writing. Could I get 51. for some ship with Jon? (preferably jongerry, but if you don't ship it jonmartin is fine too. also feel free to make is as soft as you want!)

Oh no no, I love JonGerry i actually like it more than Jmart. The potential was there so here!! Have some fluffy and fun bbys enjoying hanging out.

51- Public kiss JonGerry

Au where they work in a normal job

Jon is nervous, the institute is having a party and Tim invited him to hang out with everyone and he was already panicking. He is their boss, but he had been so insistent and when he mentioned that they haven't been able to just spend time in a group since his promotion…

Made him cave in feeling guilty.

Still he was very worried that he might make the wrong impression, Gerry who was cuddling Melon Princess looked at him amused from the couch.

“What?” He is snippy which is not fair, still he knows him enough to just snort an answer back.

“Cmon Jon, you said Tim is your friend. I'm sure it won't go badly” He doesn't understand, he doesn't.

“Yes, but that was before, now i'm his boss and- and i know i didn't deserve it, but i wanted that promotion and maybe they don't-” A cat is put in front of his face.

“Hi dad, mew, i think you are being paranoiiid, pet me and it will calm you down!” The complete dry tone makes him choke a laugh and pick up Melon from him.

“Thanks” He shrugs and kisses his cheek.

“How about this, I tag along, if anything they will be more focused on me that in you?” Usually he would refuse him, but he deflates and agrees, anything to keep him more calm will do.

“Please..” Gerry smiles at him and Jon feels his cheeks burn, he is so lucky to have met him, and to be the recipient of said smile. Gerry was far more… subdued before, but now he is far more open and he is happy to think he helped and likewise he is helping him too to not be so closed off.

“Of course, I will change, I'm sure they will be far more focused on my hair, apparently everyone is!!!” Jon snorts and sits to wait for him.

“Maybe if you let me help dye it-”

“Oh fuck off Sims-!!” He grins.

They all stare. Sasha, Tim and Martin all stare, not at him, but at Gerry who decided to come in his favourite clothes, which, now that he thinks about it, are not exactly what you would wear for an office party, but he had been so relieved that he did not question it until it was too late.

“So this is my boyfriend Gerry, i… hope you don't mind? I remembered you always insisted on seeing a picture…” Tim opens his mouth and closes it a few times, but ends up grinning like he saw the best thing ever.

“Pleasure to meet you Gerry!!” Sasha and Martin also say hi and then they all go to get some drinks and talk while everyone at the institute sort of mingles around. Its a little bit awkward at first but once Sasha asks about Gerry's job and he mentions that he sells paintings he makes plus working half time in his own bookstore, things smooth out fairly easily.

Tim talks with him and gets Martin to join, who looked a little bit uncomfortable, but was ultimately by the end of it having fun. Jon feels Gerry interlace their fingers under the table and he smiles. 

At one point Tim, slightly drunk, declares they should have a karaoke contest. Elias for some god forsaken reason had thought it would be a nice addition to it, drunk or tipsy people would all go there. In fact he has seen several people from research perform a group rendition of bohemia rhapsody in slightly off key tune.

Jon was also as a matter of fact tipsy, not enough to just embarrass himself like that, he has actually a fairly good tolerance for alcohol. Sasha joined him and after egging Martin one the three made their way there. He picked his cellphone and went to record.

“They are nice”

“Mm” He keeps recording Tim trying to do a slightly bad macarena while singing total eclipse of the heart with Sasha and Martin.

“It looks like they are having fun…”

“Yeah, im making sure they will remember on monday”

“... Jon” He turns at him and sees the mischief. Oh no.

“Err yes?”

“I never sang karaoke” And. well shit. He lets out a breath,

“Awful and incorregible” His lips are up in a crooked smile that is more accentuated by the dark purple lipstick. 

“Fine, fine!” Gerry grins so joyfully and happily that it feels like he was staring at the moon all pale and beautiful, his boyfriend leans forwards and feeling his breath catch on his throat he closes his eyes and lets him kiss him. His left hand goes to his cheek to caress it and he has to lean back a little bit because he presses himself closer, Jon feels giddy, its nothing beyond their lips pressing together by his own personal preference towards the activity, but no matter how many times it always feels just as perfect as the first time it happened all those years ago.

Gerry pulls back a little bit and kisses him softly a few more time, each one making him feel more and more like he was floating, but before he could say anything the bubble he is in burst when someone wolf whistles at them and then-

That's when he remembers that he is at a work party and he got kissed by his boyfriend in front of everyone. Gerry must realize it too, because he flushes too but smiles nonetheless.

“OY, DONT MESH WITH MY MATE. I CAN KISH TOO-” Tim who was very brave, drunk and trying to help , grabs Sasha and kisses her, before turning to  Martin’s and giving him one too.

Everyone around who was in a relationship looked at him, shrugged and kissed their partners while the others cheered them on.

Jon snorts and then starts to laugh incredulously. Gerry joins him and he ends up putting his hands on his shoulders while he grabs his waist, they lean against each other laughing and actually spinning a little bit at the ridiculousness while  adding a few more kisses along the way, even if everyone was watching no one seemed to care. And Jon felt finally at ease.

Enough so that he sang a few songs with Gerry who looked way too happy and managed to snatch a few more kisses. That is until he decides to sing the song that he was Performing the day he met Gerry while at a mechanisms concert.

To say that everyone lost it by the end of Red Signal would not be an exaggeration.

Jon had a lot of fun and seeing his boyfriend laugh and joke with Tim and the others while holding his hand, he felt that things were settling better than expected.

By the time they are in bed that night he kisses him a last time before turning off the lights and telling him how much he loves him, he always looks surprised by it, but while blushing a little at it, even now, he tells him as much.

“Thanks for coming”

“Thanks for amusing me and dedicating me that rendition, I think Tim almost has a conniption” Jon laughs.

“He wanted my secret past, he got it”

“That he did gnight... jonny”

“Shut up.... Night Ger”

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

i just watched this video of chris drunk during an interview and omg he is the cutest bean ever😍 so here comes another request, chris is out, drinking with friends and he calls you because he is clingy with you more so when drunk and he is just spilling everything, how much he loves you and the whole wedding vows and promises and then he comes home but doesn’t recognize you and he is like ‘no, i don’t wike you, i have a girlfriend’😂 i know very specific but omg i’m so in love with him💕

Babes, he is the Sweetest cutest drunk man ever, if its the video where he goes on about how hes not a tap dancer, but lets lay claim to that fame, cause why the hell not. XD haha. I loved trying to picture what he would do. And absolutely he would get so gushy for his girl, needing to tell her how much he loved her. Awww. Love this one, thank you so much! 

“God I need a break”

Chris’s arm slung over his eyes as he tipped his head back, taking a deep chest raising breath. You glanced up from your seat across the room, watching him from over your book. A frown playing on your lips at the sight of him being so tensed and stressed out. Everything about him right now was taunt and rigid. And with a sigh he moved back into a sit, leaning over his documents spread on the coffee table. Setting your book aside, you grabbed your phone and headed into the kitchen, pulling up a group chat with all of Chris’s closest friends.

‘Hey what you guys all doing tonight?’ You chewed your lip a bit waiting. They were rather quick though, sending you a quick fire replies.

‘Nothing!’

‘Staying home on the couch watching trash tv’

‘Suggestions?’

‘Whats up Buttercup?’ Last one came from Scott, he started giving you teasing nicknames simply cause you were practically his sister in law at this point.

‘Chris desperately needs a night out with all of you, and wont ask for it himself. Help him (and me) out?’

You peeked back out of the room, to see Dodger huffing at Chris with a ball in his mouth, shoving into his lap. Chris absently with a flick of the wrist tossed it across the room. The fact he wouldnt even look up, but the crease deepened in his forehead as his eyes scanned the words, rubbing his chin let you know he needed this. He kept up like that, his beard you adored so much was gonna be rubbed off. Come on guys, you thought. It was then you heard the ping, and it popped up on your screen.

‘Say no more, we will take care of it’

They were the best. Seconds later Chris’s phone started buzzing, rattling across the coffee table, jarring him at the noise. It was persistent, as he reached to grasp it, going through the ‘Buddy, Julios, 8 pm tonight!’ messages, Scott sending a private one later ‘Picking you up tonight’ Leaving it so Chris didnt have to worry about driving.

“Y/N, the guys want to go out tonight... “ He pushed off the sofa and went in search of you, finding you standing at the kitchen counter, selecting an apple out of the fruit bowl and start slicing it up. “Hmm, whats that Chris?” You ask while coring your fruit, asting as if you didnt know what he was gonna ask.

“Guys want to go out tonight, you want to come? They are apparently not taking im to busy as an answer. Scotts driving.”

You act surprised, and give a shake of the head. “No, Im gonna stay home tonight. Working on a work project, and I want to finish it up.” You gather your fruit in a bowl and come around to reach him. “But I will leave the porch light on for you Handsome.” You lean up as if to kiss him and when he went to meet you, you stuff an apple in his mouth, grinning as you pluck up another piece and snip of the tip of it.

“Just dont forget your keys cause I will be sleeping.” You smirk, after swallowing, moving to go around him. He wasnt about to let you get away though, catching you around your hips and pulling you in close, using his beard to tickle your neck. “Oh I know you had something to do with this Baby!”

You are laughing and squealing, denying your guilt as you try to escape. “No way! It wasnt--- CHRIS!” he was relentless though and chased you into the livingroom once you broke free, already he was starting to relax more.

That night, you did as you promised and left the porch light on, making sure the door was locked and headed into the bathroom to brush your teeth. Your phone sat nearby, and right in the middle of you scrubbing for those pearly whites, Chris’s ring tone popped up, the phone lighting up the picture of the three of you. Picking it up, you had to chuckle at the message.

‘Baby, I miss you so much. What are you doing? Do you miss me yet.(sad face sad face heart)’

You typed out ‘Brushing my teeth and heading to bed. Sounds like your having a good time. (wink)’

It wasnt even seconds before you got another one, this time it was ‘But do you MISS me?’ Yea he was tipsy, he always got a bit needy once he had some liquor in him.

‘Yes, course I do. Sleeping all alone is tough without you to cuddle up with.’ You knew that would make him smile. Snapping off the light, you go into the bedroom and turn down the bed, setting about doing the rest of your nightly routine when it pings again. This time there is a video, which you move to sit up against the headboard, hitting play.

It starts out all wonky, like Chris didnt have the camera still, and then it turns to him, at an odd angle, he must not be holding it high enough, and hes shouting over the music. “Y/N, I couldnt type anymore, the keys are to small.” he lifts it higher and you can see the others in the background, goofing off and shouting at him to return to the party, he waves them off and steps away further, away from the music, so you can hear him properly now. “I just wanted to tell you how much I fucking love you. Oh so much baby.” He rubs his face quickly, you can tell what hes saying is important to him, something that hes kept for a while, but finally had to get it out. Whenever he gets emotional, he rubs and touches his face. “I just need you always in my life, and I know you will tell me not to be silly, but listen. I love you so much, I just need to tell you. When we get married, im writing my own vows, your worth so much baby, I cant wait to make you all mine. I still need to go buy that ring though. How do I open up reminders?” His finger slammed down on the phone and its here he accidentally hit send, making you laugh hard enough that tears start streaming down your face.

It was no hidden fact that Chris wanted to tie the knot, he had mentioned it several times, so you couldnt wait to show this to him to see that flush rise up his cheeks and him shrugging as if he confessed some big secret. “Dont pay attention to that, I have to do it right!” Little did he know that you didnt even need the ring. If he just asked, you would in a heartbeat agree. But as he said, he wanted to do it right, and you were fine with waiting for him to be ready.

You send a message to Scott. ‘Please bring Chris home safe, hes so liquored!’ Which Scott just sent back a laughing emoji, clearly amused with his brother. It went quiet, and you pull the blankets up, falling asleep shortly after.

It was a couple hours later when you heard Dodger shuffle out of the bedroom and give a soft bark. Chris must be home, you thought as you rolled to get up, and wearing nothing but his oversized tee, you pad out to see where he was. Ahh, the kitchen. On the counter was several bags of what looked like taco bell, and he was rummaging for something. You lean in the doorway and say his name “Chris, honey, what are you looking for?”

From in the fridge he remarks “more cheese, I need more cheese” Between his legs, Dodger also has his head stuck in the fridge, the two of them quite the pair. You open a cupboard and take out some nacho cheese, unscrewing the top for Chris. In this state of mind, you didnt want him to try for himself. “Here Handsome, I got you a jar.” He turned suddenly, half tripping over Dodger as he went for the bag of tacos, and dumping out a pile of food. “Your the best... “ drizzling cheese all over his taco and taking a big bite, he gave what could only be described as a dirty moan, his eyes rolling back. “This is the best, besides Y/N’s tacos. I miss my baby” 

“Im right here” You state, but he ignores you, going back to his taco. While hes eating, you go back to lock the door, pick up his shoes, and leave the rest of his chaos for the morning.

Getting back, you see hes left behind his meal, and with a roll of your eyes you pick that up to. He would make it up to you tomorrow. You would be sure of it. Heading towards the bedroom, you saw him collapsed on the bed, groaning. You bite your lip to keep from laughing, going to set on your side of the bed. “Chris, do you want to get undressed?”

His eyes slanted open as he looked up at you, and he groaned, turning away. “Go away, wheres Y/N?”

Well this was a first for you, your hand touches Chris’s back. “Baby, its me.”

He shifted once more to turn on his side facing away from you, muttering “I dont wike it, Stop, go away, your not Y/N”

“Chris?” You move to lean over him, your hand braced on his shoulder for leverage to glance over his half sleeping form, and he half slapped at your hand touching him, grumbling into his pillow. “Stop, I dont wike it. Wheres Y/N?” It wasnt often Chris resorted back to placing his W’s in place of the L’s.  

You pull back and study him a moment, getting your phone and texting Scott.

‘How much did you guys give Chris?’

‘Oh honey, that boy is out of commission when I dropped him off at home. He should be passed out by now.’

No shit Scott, you think. Setting your phone aside. Chris has shifted again, to his back, and gives a smile seeing you and sighing. “Y/N is so beautiful, I cant wait till we have all the babies. Little Y/N all over the place.”

You pat his chest and lay down next to him. “Yes sir, all the babies, and Chris can change all the dirty diapers, and car pool them back and forth to soccer camp.”

He loped an arm around you and cuddled you in close to him, humming. “Yup. Tell Y/N that when she comes home that I miss her.”

“Oh of course, she will be very happy to see your home safe.”

That made him smile and he buried his face in your hair. Within minutes he started snoring softly, and you moved his arm from over your chest to settle at your waist. Finally you to drift off for the night.

The next morning came to you waking up first, bleary eyed, Chris came into focus, having moved during the night. Now he was on his back, head tipped back into the pillows, and mouth wide open. You were pretty tempted to take a picture, but before you could move, he slung an arm around you and twisted to his side, muttering against your shoulder.

“What Handsome?”

“I want... to die. Ugh” He lifted his head enough to rub the sleep out of his eyes and rubbed his chin against your neck, resettling himself against you. “How bad was I?”

Your hand comes up to card your fingers through his hair, light and gentle, he started humming softly at the soothing feeling.

“Well... You insisted on eating tacos, left a whirlwind of stuff in our livingroom, and you didnt remember who I was.” That shot his head up, in confusion.

“What?”

“Yea, you were convinced I was another woman and everytime I tried to like touch you to make sure you were okay, You brush me off and demand to know where I was.” You giggled softly at the memory, and he dropped his head groaning.

“Shit baby Im so sorry if I was an ass.”

“No no, you werent. It was more like you just wanted to see me, and you werent gonna accept another woman. It was kind of cute. You kept saying I dont wike it whenever i touched you. Oh and you um... sent me a video.”

He grumbled against your shoulder. “Course I did... I dont even want to know what was on it.”

You bring your hand to slide down the back of his neck, to his shoulders and rub along his upper back. “Well, it was all good stuff Chris. It was about how much you missed me, and loved me, then there was talks about a wedding ring.” Again he groaned against you, lifting his head up.

“Listen Y/N, when I said all that... “ He started and you cupped your hand over his mouth.

“Stop Babes, you were drunk. You really dont have to say anything. It was a cute video, and thats all I took it for.”

His eyes flashed in a touch of relief, another less sure woman might have been hurt at her mans relief, but you knew better. Chris was a man who ‘wanted to do it right’. You tilted your head up and nuzzled your nose against his. “How about you jump in the shower, and I will go make us a hangover cure?”

“And whats that?”

“Why more alcohol of course.”

He seemed to ponder a bit on your offer, and rolled to sit up, stretching. “Your on baby. Can you stay in my shirt though?” His blue eyes darkened in desire. “Cause your so fucken sexy in my clothes and I have plans for us later.”

You move to get off the bed, cupping his face once you stand and kiss his lips playfully. “Of course” As you turn to leave, his hand snaps playfully across your bare ass, and you smirk leaving the room.

Party is just getting started now.

[silvanable]

Match-Up : Ikemen Revolution

@nad-zeta

Hi there dear! I legit loved your ikesen matchup up so her so here i am asking for an ikevamp matchup ❤❤ hope u dont mind❤❤

🥰 i am a aries, infp, Hufflepuff female 🦊 i am shy and difficult to get to know (apparently it took me 2 months to start opening up to my friends, ooops), i tend to bottle up my emotions, my friends would likely describe me as incredibly stubborn, gentle, kind, over dramatic, goofy and fun loving. I am pretty aloof and blunt, i like i will 9/10 times tell you to your face how if feel about you if you ask 🙈once u are part of my inner circle i am playful, teasing, i am an extremely sarcastic person that makes snarky remarks under my breath and my kind of humor is a bit of dark and self deprecating.

I will definitely be the person making jokes at inappropriate times and something about inappropriate things (its one of my coping mechanisms) 😂 I love my friends and family and will fight anyone how threatens them, although when it comes to me you can do or say anything to me and i wont do anything (I honestly cant stand up for myself). I swear like a sailor although i am trying to get that under control, however the road rage is real.

i love nature and animals (i love my lil bunnies and dogs), i love working out/going to the gym #gym is life (it is one of my coping mechanisms and has helped me slowly overcome an eating disorder)😂i enjoy cooking (i am now officially a chef), wine tasting (fancy way of saying getting very tipsy of different wines most nights), spending time with friends (especially if there is tea to be spilt) although i do need lots of alone time to recharge my social battery, i like conspiracies, reading, writing (Fanfics and im busy with my Masters in nutrition >“<), romcoms, and  sleeping. As much as i love spending time outdoor i also enjoy lazing around the house being a lazy potato.

I definitely zone out and daydream all the freaken timeI tend to blush easily which i hate 🙈 My face will give away what i am thinking. i enjoy my own alone time and i definitely dont like crowds and loud sounds (ie you will never find me in a club). I am a picky eater despite my degree in cooking (i basically only eat candy, carbs and protein), i love cuddles although i look like someone that wouldn’t. Ive been told i come across as calm and confident, while in truth on the inside i am really scared and insecure.  I am incredibly awkward when it comes to boys and have been told my sarcastic comments are x100 when i talk to them (oops).I am very go with the flow, and i never burn my bridges 🙈 i am very forgive and forget🦊, like no matter how badly you hurt me.

🙈 Thanx so much dear ❤ Sorry if this is TMI and for making u read all that again🙈🙈🙈🔥Cant wait to see who i get matched with 🌈🎀

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i’m glad to see you in my submissions again! it makes me very happy knowing you enjoyed the ikesen match up!

i hope i don’t disappoint with this ikerev one. enjoy!

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↪  GUIDELINES

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ー FENRIR GODSPEED : ACE OF SPADES

i can see a relationship between you and fenrir because there are a lot of areas in compliments with personalities.

you said you were a shy person who does not open up easily, but you can be read by your emotions with a good eye.

fenrir takes a whole 24 hours to crack down on that calm and shy little persona you got going before he has you laughing in tears on the floor.

sorry i don’t make the rules i just rely them.

he took it as a personal challenge to get you to smile and laugh and feel comfortable around the black army headquarters.

so yes, he would try and do everything imaginable in a single day to get you to open up.

not to mention you are also a moderator, with a milder set personality and very gentle.

which pretty much balances out the wilder and more chaotic side that fenrir has been known to have.

that being said, you happened to be a very goofy, fun loving, and playful person so you also compliment his wild side.

to put it simply, you are either the mellow aid or you are the chaos instigator, there is no in between.

i’m going to say it right now, gym buddies.

you love to work out, the moment fenrir finds that out he’s there asking if you want to join him on his morning routine.

he would love the company anyways and maybe to show off a lil bit.

between you and fenrir, i can imagine a lot of food going missing.

especially sweets. oh god all the sweets.

not to call you out but both y’all are carb junkies, which is to make up for the exercise of you running from the trouble you both stir up.

going to be honest, the first time you open up a can of the good ol’ sailor everyone, and i mean everyone is surprised.

there lovely, gentle, fun-loving alice is in the courtyard swearing higher than magic tower.

to say the least chutney learned her lesson after bearing the front of it not to try and steal your stuff.

half the black army had come running out with the first shout worried they were being attacked and you were in trouble.

instead they ended up finding alice 2.0 with a slightly startled raccoon, your notebook and pens all over the ground with you squatting to pick it all up.

fenrir was shocked… and that shock broke down into loud laughter a moment later.

“with a tone like that even the red army will be running from you!”

he will never let you, or anyone for that matter, forget it.

on another note, despite all the wild and troublesome things you two get into much to the display of mother sirius you do have your mellow moments.

cuddles. all the time.

while fenrir seems to have the attitude of the extrovert on EXTROVERT™ he has his moments of calm and quiet.

your need to recharge is especially something that causes him to mellow out, he doesn’t want to push you too far.

he understands you need alone alone time too, so he’s willing to back up but most times he’s spending your recharge time to mellow out with you.

absolutely willing to spend time you with in bed just to snuggle into you and hold you close.

walks in the garden to hear about your conspiracies, what you’ve read recently, or what you’ve been writing.

would bring shu shu with him constantly because he found out you loved dogs and he must bring a tiny floof for your enjoyment plus shu shu loves you so.

expect this man to ask you to cook for him.

the moment he finds out you’re a chef that’s it, he wants to taste everything you’ve ever made or even thought about making.

his support and encouragement are WAY out there in the best and loving way possible.

✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

[abdicatedarchive]

Cherish’s House Party || Chase and Savvy

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍: cherish’s house party // 15th of january.

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: chase x savvy ( @savvy-cassidy ).

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒: underage drinking.

𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐒: two cheerleaders playing ping pong and having a good time gossiping

Chase had come over to find beer pong in the kitchen and no one to play with until he saw Savvy. "Savvy, I challenge you to a game of pong" he said as he pulled her over to the table lightly. "That is if you can take the heat" Chase teased as he racked up the cups. Gabrielle was off doing something, and he always enjoyed talking to Savannah. Maybe he would even hear some good gossip out of it. 

Savvy was, as usual, sipping on her drink and mingling around the party. That is, until she was ushered over to the beer pong table. "when have i ever not been able to take the heat?" she scoffed and finished off the drink in her head. "good thing i get better at this game the more i drink," the brunette was already a bit tipsy. 

"I mean that's just the science behind it" said Chase laughing a little, "once you have double vision then you get two cups at once" he joked. Once the cups were racked he grabbed two balls and washed them off in the sink. "Ladies first" he said as he handed her the ping pong balls and went to his side of the table. "So tell me, have you seen anything interesting at the party so far?" Chase asked.

"i think i just try harder when my vision is blurry so i really work twice as hard on trying to have good aim," she commented with a laugh. "how polite of you. not too many of the males around here have manners," she joked. taking the ball she took her shot, seeing it bounce off of one of the rims. "off to a great start. hm. ive been in two bedrooms and neither were occupied at the time i stumbled upon them, i thought that was pretty interesting because that never happens. also, staci poured a full beer down sara's shirt when she told her to be careful not to spill it."

"Well, I was in the cheer chat during the men suck discussion, so I'm on my best behavior" he said sarcastically, he didn't mind. Especially when it came to all the girl's boyfriends being kind of shit. There had been a lot of newly single moments recently on the team in general. He was happy with his girlfriend so hating on men was definitely an option, it kept him in line with his own relationship. Chase caught the ball when it bounced off the rim and held it while he waited for her to throw again. "Well Sara had it coming with that comment, and you never tell someone with a full cup to do anything" he joked, "Staci's got low impulse control that's for sure". "to be fair, i think we all have our moments of sucking so dont worry it isn't just men," although they did seem to have far more moments, but that was beside the point and she didn't feel the need to bring it up. on her next attempt, she sank the ball, "yesss hopefully now im getting somewhere. and you're right on both of those counts. what about you what interesting things have you seen thus far?"  Chase took the ball out of the cup and chugged the whole thing. "Well" he said catching his breath, "I saw one guy constantly changing rooms, so I investigated a little" he said throwing his first ball and it sinking into the cup. "And it turns out he is talking to two girls at this party, and I am 30% sure they are texting each other about this cute mystery guy that they're talking to" Chase said as he tried the other ball and missed. "So I cannot wait to see how that turns out"  Savvy lifted her brows as he took a breath, knowing that whatever he was about to say was probably quite the story. Lifting up the cup, she took out the ball and chugged the liquid, something a good friend of hers had taught her to do well over the years. "dont they know that the circles around here are small? its like we've all slept with each other by association."

"Everybody is sleeping with everybody" said Chase letting a small laugh fall from his lips as he waited for her to throw again. "Speaking of, who is your newest conquest? I have to live vicariously through others now that I'm back with Gabrielle" he said, intrigued to know what the girl was up to. She was one of the most beautiful girls in school, it only made sense that she had guys at her beck and call.  "That is putting it lightly," she chuckled, setting down the now empty cup and setting up her next shot. it circled the rim of the cup a couple of times before finally sinking inside. "conquest? you mean like, have i hooked up with anyone tonight? chase. im a lady. you think i do that kind of thing at a party where there are loads of people who could walk in at any moment?" the girl was rambling playfully before eventually answering, "jet." mostly because everyone likely already knew anyway, it happened at most parties. it was like knowing that someone was going to end up throwing up in the bushes, jet and savvy were going to hook up. "how is that going?"  "A lady never tells" said Chase, knowing full well that there was always Jet. He was hoping there was maybe some variety in there, but Jet was ... well he was kinda it. He was that guy in town for sure. "Oh that's still going?" he said with a smile, "He is super hot, and I heard he's very good in bed. Good for you" Chase replied. Chase chugged the cup and put it to the side before continuing. "It's going great, it's a race right now to see who is the drunker one and who is in charge of getting us home. I'm hoping she's the responsible one tonight, but who is to say at this rate. She could be off taking shots with Juliette right now, and they're both so tiny they'll be on the floor in minutes" the boy said with a laugh.  "We have a nice arrangement. It's very convenient. Plus, I wont have to worry I won't get off, which is definitely a big plus. Like an old, yet reliable habit." Savvy had to laugh at her own description, the alcohol definitely making her sound a little ridiculous. "Maybe someone else will get a turn, i just dont really want it to be when i have beer goggles, because ew." Crinkling her nose at the thought she shook her head. "so who do you think is winning? how drunk are you?"  "I get that, what you know is better than something new. And if it works for you, then why bother with anything else" said Chase, completely understanding. That was something about being with Gabrielle that he loved, it was always good because they had been at it for so long. "She only drinks liquor so probably her, but it has been me before and I am working my hardest at it" said Chase laughing a little, he didn't mind taking care of her at the end of the night. It was fun when she took care of him though. "Knowing her, it's who she is with. She can either drink a lot because she's having a really good time or a really bad time. But if it's in between she won't be drunk at all ... just a little buzzed"  “Something new can be exciting, if it’s the right something new,” Sav pointed out with a shrug. “It is always nice to have a safe option though too.” Because who didn’t like options. “Yikes she could be going pretty hard right now. So that will not be a fun morning for her. “  "It can be, but I am a sucker for the classics. Only one girl out there for me" said Chase with a small smile. He was soft for Gabrielle like that, sure he would be having a great deal more fun as a single guy at this school, but there was nothing that beat to comfort of being loved. "She'll be fine. No matter what I'll make her breakfast, even if I'm about to yak" said the boy. 

“Oh isn’t that just adorable,” to be fair, there was a time when Savvy may have thought the same thing, when she was dating someone she liked to think it would be for the long haul but that was rarely the case. “Breakfast too? Damn you really are one of the good ones.”  "Yeah the perks of her family taking me in, we get to spend every morning together no matter what rooms we sleep in" said Chase with a proud smile. He also treated her very well, just going above and beyond whenever he could. It made him feel like he was repaying a debt to her family. "What do your mornings with Jet look like? Or is it purely a party affair?" he asked, curious to know more.  “That is a pretty unique situation so I guess you should enjoy it as long as possible because you lucked out there. Do they let you stay in the same room though?” Sav was glad that her friend was happy though it seemed to be going well and that’s what was most important. Her brows raised at his question “we usually have each other for breakfast,” she answered as if it was nonchalant. “And then go out for pancakes because were fucking starving.”  "Yeah, I am milking it as much as physically possible" said Chase in all earnesty. He was certain they would not separate for college, but if they didn't get into the right schools then they would be screwed. Having a child together, even though it was a secret bonded them past the usual high school relationship, but it was hard to explain that to anyone because he couldn't. "That's a hearty breakfast, lots of vitamin d in that one" Chase joked, proud of himself for that one. "Pancakes is always a good dessert after a hearty breakfast"  “I can’t say that I blame you, I think most people would do the same thing. But hey im glad that it works out for you and you’re both happy with it, that’s honestly all that matters,” the girl nodded with a shrug. She couldn’t help but chuckle, “vitamin d, good joke. Best of the night so far. But agreed pancakes are the best. A nice way to refuel.”  "You can tell who at this school has a major vitamin d deficiency" said Chase with a small chuckle as well. There were a lot of people who just needed some kind of release, any kind. Whether it was a boxing class or getting laid, people needed to do something. 

Savvy couldn’t help but chuckle and nod in agreement, “you are correct about that, I wish them all the best, honestly. Might help some of their piss poor attitudes.” "I think that might be our big ticket to victory this cheer season" said Chase feeling the alcohol start to hit him. He hated to admit it, but a lot like his girlfriend he was a light weight. 

"everyone getting laid? you might be on to something with that," she chuckled and nodded in agreement, "you down for the count on this game, or what? i can already see your eyes getting glassy, you're sucha lightweight," she teased him.  "I did some shots earlier, but I think it's all kicking in now" said Chase, the room was a little spinny. "All I am is bone and muscle, there's nothing to absorb the alcohol" he said to defend himself, but it was the honest reason he couldn't handle too much to drink.

[ellana-ravenwood]

Salt, Tequila, Lemon - Jason Todd x Reader

Please read this intro, thank you very much :  

So. I posted this yesterday, but after a bug on the Tumblr app on my phone it got deleted. I’m super bummed out because it had over 200 notes and quite a few feedbacks that I never got to read because it was accidentally deleted...If the people that took the time to comment things on the story could take a bit more time to write a little comment again and give me their feedbacks, and also if the people that liked and reblog could do it once more...i’d appreciate the hell out of you <3.  So reposting it (thanks god I always have back ups of all my stories now). Written in twenty minutes during my break at work. Bam. Hope you’ll like it :

Also, since Tumblr’s new guidelines and enforcement of it, I DON’T really appear in searches anymore, so the only way for this story to be seen by others than those who follow me is to reblog it. So if you wanna, you can show your support for my writing by doing just that. Thanks very much. You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

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Ok. So. Grandma’s remedy against heartbreak ? Oh, right. 

Salt. Tequila. Lemon. 

Got it. Licking the back of your hand to make the salt stick to it, you pour yourself a massive shot of “To-Kill-Ya” in your coffee mug, not even caring about the fact that there is still some remnant of your cappuccino from last night in it. 

You focus on the sound the liquid makes as it fills your cup. Makes you think about something else. Good. Yup. This was totally gonna help right now. 

“Cheers”, you exclaim to yourself, your empty apartment echoing your voice. 

Salt. 

Wincing. Stingy. Salt on its own is gross. 

Tequila. 

More wincing. Oh my god, it burns. The coffee that was still at the bottom of the cup is an oddly nice touch. 

Lemon. 

The last of the Wincing. 

You spit the piece of lemon you just bit into in the trash and…miss. The yellow fruit falls with a little flat sound on the floor, and you honestly can’t bother to pick it up. Your apartment is a mess anyway, so you just stare at it angrily and pour yourself another drink. 

Salt. Tequila. Lemon. 

You gulp the last of the citrus and shiver. Miss the trash again. 

Damn. This was good. 

Well, actually, it was disgusting. 

You didn’t like strong alcohol and what the Hell ?! Why did you leave a bit of coffee in your cup ? Now that the aftertaste was kicking in, it was actually really gross. If the tequila itself didn’t make you wanna throw up, the stale coffee taste nearly did. Oh, and the salt and lemon combination was as awful as ever. 

You really didn’t like salt, tequila, or lemon. 

But it was still good. 

Because thanks to all this immediate awfulness, you could slowly feel yourself drift into “haze land”, and forget about your worries. 

Forget that your boyfriend of two years just cheated on you with some random woman you worked with. Woman that, by the way, he met at the Christmas “end of the year” party from you work you invited him to…You gave him free champagne and mise-en-bouche and all your love, and he broke your heart. 

It wasn’t your thing, to drink your sorrow away. And it wasn’t your thing either to wallow because of a man…But you genuinely thought he was “the one” (oh what a mistake you would soon realize that was). 

He was always so nice, treating you like a princess. He complimented you daily, and never forgot an important date. He was affectionate, not to an annoying point. He was the perfectamount of affectionate. He was a gentleman and seemed to love you and yet, he betrayed you. 

If a man like him, that was nothing short but sweet and passionate with you, cheated on you, then did that mean you couldn’t trust anyone ? 

Because in your eyes right now, he was perfect. Albeit said eyes were slightly clouded by a a few tequila shots. 

You were downing a fourth drink starting to slowly sob when…

There’s very few things that can get you out of a drunk state in seconds. 

An extremely cold shower could do the trick, for instance. Brings you back to your senses a bit you know ? You wouldn’t magically be sober, but you’d get a clearer mind. Or someone giving you shocking news ! Or like, an event so incredible that your body just forgets how drunk it is for a minute. 

And this event, for you, came at the perfect time. 

Right when you were entering your “sad drunk” phase, which was between the “lol alcohol does NOTHING to me” phase where you downed most of your drinks, and the “dancing on the bar’s counter” phase (a few more drinks and you would have a one woman dance party in your living room, acting as if you were on a bar’s counter and that your name was suddenly “Britney”).

Right when you were about to wallow times a thousand, and cry, and yell “whyyyyyyy ?!” to the sky, arms in the air (drama queen). 

Years later, looking back on that particular event, you’ll start to realize that Destiny HAS to exist. Because come on, it was just too perfect a timing to be a simple coincidence. 

You were about to swallow up your fifth drink, launching yourself head first into the “sad phase” when an ear shattering noise rang all around your apartment. 

Broken glass. 

It was the sound of broken glass. Heightened to the max by your drunkness. You turned on your stool, and…there he was. 

It was a guy. That you were sure of because he had no boobs and too much pecs. And that guy…well that guy just flew right through your window, destroying it. How rude. 

There was glass everywhere. 

How much did a window cost ? Probably a fortune. 

You wondered briefly if you could just use aluminium foil and tape the shit up. There was nothing of value to steal in your apartment anyway, and if aluminium foil could keep meals warm, it definitely worked with a house too right ? 

You sobered up quite a bit, but you were also very drunk when this event happened, so your mind was still in that cloudy weird phase where your priorities were…interesting. 

You worried more about the broken window at first, than about that guy who just launched through it. 

A guy. 

Not just any guy. 

You saw that guy before. 

He was one of those night vigilante your crazy hometown was filled with…RED HOOD !! 

“Thick thighs”, is the first thing you thought right after you recognized him (priorities). 

The second thing you thought was that you needed another drink, and so you downed what was your fifth one, but with that crazy thing happening ended up being on the same level as if it was a second one. You were tipsy, but not “drunk” anymore. 

The third thing that came to your mind was…Is he still alive ? 

No cause, he was like, just laying there, on your living room’s floor, not moving. 

“…Outch.” 

Oh. He spoke. 

So he ain’t dead. Good, means you can have another drink then, you don’t need a clear mind to call an ambulance or something. 

Oddly enough, in your half-drunk half-sober state, this sounded completely reasonable. Nevermind if Red Hood had some internal bleeding or something. He talked. He was probably fine. 

A minute passed, and you just sat there, sipping up your tequila in between taking a pinch of salt and biting into a piece of lemon. 

Salt, tequila, lemon. Great remedy against heartbreaks. 

Wait, were you heartbroken ? Really ? You couldn’t really recall that fact now. But, yeah…it was the reason why you were drinking right ? Because right now, all you could think about was the fact that this Red hood guy had abs for days…

This unforeseen event sobered you up quite a bit, but the two shots you just took kinda brought you back to the same state than you were before.

Well. Not quite. You were drunk as hell again, but seemed to have avoided the “sad phase”. Instead, Red Hood bursting quite literally through your window took you to another road. 

The : “Cool, I got a drinking buddy phase”. Well, taking for granted he didn’t have any internal bleeding and wouldn’t die while biting into a lemon wedge. 

“Tough day ?” 

You ask him, as he slowly sits up and shakes his head, trying to regain his senses. He looks towards you and seem surprised (or at least you think he is, because he wears a mask so…kinda hard to tell). 

************

Jason definitely thought he was alone in this place, because no sane person would just sit there, not saying anything, as someone simply jumped through their window. Nope, most people would just freak out. Scream. 

He knows, because it’s not the first time he falls through a window during a night on duty. And every single time it happened, people freaked out. Screamed. Threw stuffs at him, or hid away begging for their life to be spared. 

And yet here you were, half a bottle of tequila in front of you, surrounded by lemon wedges you bit into, and table salt all over your hand, just staring at him curiously. And did you just say : “tough day” ?  

Well, Jason guessed the empty half of the bottle was why you were so chilled about it all. He sat up, and slowly got back to his feet. 

Usually, going through a window meant the end of the night for him. He’d go back to one of his secret stash, patch himself up and get some rest. Most of the time, he fell through windows because someone pushed him or threw him there…Though today, he just embarrassingly missed a step and fell by himself. 

Of course, no one would ever now he tripped while jumping from one building to another (you lived on the last floor) and went careening into your home (and life). Nope, the official story would be that he fought a fierce enemy and was thrown into that window. Finding fake villains name was easy, given how truly ridiculous some could be. 

Tim and Damian were still after the “Illusive Blue Man” that he totally made up that one time he walked into a poll and had a huge black eye that he couldn’t quite explain…Oh man, he had to stop telling such elaborate lies and just say “I fought with a few guys last night” without more explanation. 

But he couldn’t help it. And those kids believed everything he said, it was too tempting…But for now, this wasn’t the issue. Nope. 

He did a quick check of his body and knew he wasn’t really hurt (thanks “dad” for the amazing body armor ugh ?), so he was planning on leaving that poor girl’s house and send a mystery check in the mail to pay for the damage (money stolen from a certain Bruce Wayne of course, as if he would pay himself). 

Yup. He was just gonna stand up, and go on his way and…somehow, he found himself sitting on the stool opposite side of this mysterious girl, and now she was peppering salt on his hand ? 

“Salt”, she says, and she has a cute drunk voice. Jason almost forgets he just went through a window a few minutes ago. 

“Tequila”, she continues, downing her drink and pointing at the one she poured him. He doesn’t even care the she poured it in a cereal bowl that she didn’t even seem to have clean…He drunk worst things in worst recipient. He turns away to take off his mask and so that she can’t see his face, and “bottom’s up”. 

“Lemon !” she finishes, biting into the sour fruit and spitting it in the direction of the trashcan but missing completely. The lemon wedge goes to lost itself amongst his fallen brothers…

Jason bites into his own lemons, and spits it. Right into the garbage. 

There’s a slight pause, where she just stares at the trashcan, and then at Jason, back to the trashcan, and then turns to him again and simply says : 

“Wow.” 

************

So. This was surreal. 

Here you were. In your home. Taking tequila shots. With…Red Hood. 

One of Gotham’s night vigilante. The most violent one. But the dude seemed chilled. He was holding his liquor really well. 

And now you were talking about your broken heart, telling him the story as if he’d been your friend for years. And he was listening. Intently. And reacting to what you were saying. It had been a LONG time, since you had this kind of talk with anyone, and despite the fact you were drunk, you still noticed how nice it felt to have someone to talk to. Someone that genuinely listened. 

“And then he slept with her !” you say angrily. 

“Nooooooo !?!” 

“Yes, he did ! He slept with…with…what was her name…”

“Nicole. From accounting.” 

“Right, Nicole from accounting ! That bitch ! She always just…counts and shit ! And he slept with her ! Nicole from accounting ! Whom he met thanks to me, by the way ! At a partyyyy !! At my wooooork !!” 

“What an ass.” 

“Right ?! Oh but he had such a good ass though…Quite firm. But whenever he wore jeans, it was super flat.” 

“So, not such a good ass in the end then ?” 

“I guess not. You have a good ass. Popping right out in this outfit of yours.” 

Red Hood chuckles, and the sound of his laughter makes you forget that you just said something incredibly embarrassing. His voice is…nice. Deep. Manly. You like it. You wanna make him chuckle some more, so you say, hoping : 

“And it looks very firm. Not just quite firm.” 

It works. He snorts and it’s very cute. Oh wow. He can be sexy and cute. Full package. You smile a bit dreamily. 

For a second, he’s lost in that smile of yours, and there’s a silence installing itself in the room. A comfortable one. That you break : 

“Ok. So now, he’s not that perfect anymore ! He got no ass ! Penalty points ! I never notice how un-assed he was before…” 

Jason smiles and damn. He’s hot. 

Somewhere along the way, he stopped turning his face away from you whenever he took a shot, and just ended up taking his helmet off. He was probably hoping that you’d black out or something, so you wouldn’t remember his face (or he just didn’t care). 

In any case, you were pretty sure you never saw him before. His face kinda reminded you of an old memory. Of someone you saw somewhere long ago, when you were a kid…Which wasn’t really a big help right ? 

Right. You had no idea who he was. And in your drunken state, probably couldn’t piece anything together anyway. So even if you did know who he could be, you wouldn’t know in the end anyway…Makes perfect sense right ?

What you knew was : he’s hot. 

This white streak in his hair did something to you that you couldn’t explain. And that jawline ? You would love to get cut on that bitch.  It could actually cut a bitch, you were sure of it. Those blue eyes ? You’ve never seen someone with such blue eyes. And did you mention to yourself how muscular he was ? Because man you only saw guys like this in magazines ! 

But beyond his handsome features, he seemed like a nice guy. Like he was listening to you, a total stranger. And this realization suddenly raised your guard up. 

You also thought that your ex-cheating-boyfriend was a nice guy. And come to think of it, who the hell just barge in someone’s home like that, and actually stay to drink tequila shots ?! Wait but…in your guts…it’s not like with your ex. 

You don’t think he’s a nice guy. You know he is. 

************

There’s a visible shift in your mood, after this realization. So far, you talked to him about your broken heart freely, and he listened. 

Oddly enough, no words that came out of your (perfect) mouth bored him. Jason wasn’t sure wether it was the alcohol or not, but you captivated him. 

But in a split second, and without him knowing why, your features changed. You were now frowning. Like an unhappy little kid. It was kinda cute, but he didn’t like it because…why were you frowning ? 

He tries to lighten up the mood and says : 

“Well here you go. See, you didn’t loose the perfect guy, his ass was flat in jeans. Can’t work with that, can you ? I bet we can find other flaws. Make you realize he actually was a looser.”  

Your guard is up, but you can’t help but smile a bit, plus you were frowning just now because you realized you just knew you could trust that total stranger, and it was so weird…. 

Besides, no harm in indulging this, because you’re pretty sure it’ll make you feel better to try and see the bad side of your ex-boyfriend, not just his good ones. No one was perfect. And so, still a bit careful, you say : 

“Well…He never got any of my Tv shows or movie references.” 

“Well, here’s a point to take off of his “perfectness”. Doesn’t get pop culture references. Deal breaker.” 

“Yeah…Yeah you’re right. It is. He also used to hate when I made jokes. I like puns ya know ? Terrible ones. Well, he was always embarrassed whenever I made them in public.” 

“Ashamed of his girlfriend, doesn’t sound very gentlemanly, right ?” 

“Yeah. It doesn’t. Maybe he wasn’t such a perfect gentleman…He also used to not want to go out with me if I didn’t wear any make-up and was dressed just casually.” 

“What you mean, he never just went out with you ?” 

“We only went out on dates. I had to dress up. I could be casual home though…” 

“Well goodie, the man let you be yourself when you were home. Big deal. To be honest, sounds like a douchey move.” 

“That was kinda douchey…I never cared what he looked like.” 

And it’s true. For you, physical appearance wasn’t everything. And sure you thought your ex was hot and all, but only because you liked his personality too. You liked his jokes, you were never ashamed of anything he said. 

And right now, sure that stranger that bursted through your window was hot, but the reason you felt like you could tell him things was because he just made you comfortable by his mere aura. Because he gave you such a good vibe. 

You never were fully about appearances. It was always just a bonus for you…So it never occurred to you why your ex would only hang out in public with you if you were pampered. Like he used to hate when you just wore hoodies and no make-up, even if you didn’t need make-up to be beautiful. 

Comes to think of it, he was very much about appearances…Uh. Interesting. You never realized that before. 

You turn to Red Hood, and the look on your face says it all. You’re slowly realizing maybe you didn’t just lost “the one”. The vigilante says : 

“Ok, so : no ass, no humor apparently, doesn’t get pop culture references, and was kind of a jerk when it came to going out with you…” 

“He did tell me often that I was beautiful though. Including when I just woke up from a night out, and was awful looking.”

“Yeah, but he never went out with you looking like that. He shouldn’t feel ashamed of hanging out with you looking like that. Just like he shouldn’t feel embarrassed when you joke. He can be exasperated, like if you really make bad puns, sure. And he can think it’s unfunny…But embarrassed ? No.” 

“I guess…I never thought about it.” 

“Well let me tell you, as someone who does not know neither you nor him personally, he sounds like a bit of a jerk. Let’s not forget he cheated as well. Like, that’s not something good people do. Especially not with…Nicole from accounting.” 

“Nicole from accounting…Yeah. They’re together now though.” 

“So ? He should’ve broken up with you if he realized he liked her. That’s the right thing to do. Trust me on that, I put villains behind bars for a living, I know what’s right or wrong.” 

“I heard you kill criminals.” 

“Used to. I used to kill criminals, I had issues. I’ll tell you one day if you wanna. It’s a real tear jerker story. With clowns and crowbars. And I’m telling you that because I’m drunk, right now. Also, if we want to be specific, I don’t actually make a living out of putting villains behind bars. Like, I don’t get paid or anything…” 

Jason finds himself ranting about anything that comes to his mind, and though he hears himself claim it’s because of the alcohol he’s saying all this, he realizes maybe there’s something else making him want to talk. 

You. A total stranger he walked upon. Or rather, went-through-the-window upon.  Who didn’t freak out when he went through said window. And instead, invited him over to have tequila shots. 

Because, according to your grandmother, the best remedy to…basically any problems in life, was “salt, tequila, lemon”. 

“She was a wise woman.” 

He says, and you turn to him, clearly not understanding what he was talking about. 

“Who ?” 

“Your grandma. For saying that salt, tequila and lemon was a great remedy against heartbreaks and all.” 

“Oh. Yeah. I wouldn’t know, I never met her. She died before I was born.” 

“Well what she passed on to your parents is great.” 

“What ?”

“Well, that “salt, tequila and lemon” thing, I assume she said that to your mom or dad, and then they said that to you, and then it became your grandma’s advice. Right ?” 

“…Nah. It’s an excuse I made up. Whenever I need to justify something, I just say “like my grandma said, ain’t no shame in eating an entire tub of ice cream if you want to”, and then people are just like “oh yeah, cool”, because when you say the word “grandma”, then it gives a perspective to your words ya know ?” 

Jason had no idea what you were on about, but he loved it. You seemed to be very smart. And witty. And funny. The hell did that guy cheated on you for ? And why was he ashamed of going out in public with you when you weren’t dressed up ?! 

You currently wore “Hello Kitty” pyjamas, had absolutely no make up on, and your hair was a mess, and he thought you looked gorgeous.

“Why are you so nice ?” 

Your question takes him by surprise, and for a few seconds he doesn’t register it and just says : “ugh ?” 

“To me. Why are you so nice to me ? Is it the alcohol ? Does it make you nice ? Or are you just nice to every stranger ? Every girl you destroy the windows of ? Or are you like my ex ? You seem nice, but then you go off and cheat on your girl simply because you like another girl and you’re too cowardly to break up with your current girl ?” 

Jason hiccups slightly, and says : 

“No, I’m not nice to any girl I met. I’m actually usually kind of a jerk, too “brutally honest”. But you…I don’t know. You give me good feelings. Oh and here’s to add on his flaws list. “Coward”. Can’t even break up with a girl, has to wait to get caught red-handed and break her heart. Cooooward. Bad flaw. Kind of guy who runs in the face of danger, instead of standing by you.” 

It’s probably the fact that he said “you give me good feelings” that spurs this in you. That gives you a new clearer perspective on things. 

“My heart wasn’t broken.”

It’s a shock, to you. This realization. This sudden feeling jumping in your face. You…are not heartbroken. You’re mad. You’re frustrated. You feel betrayed. You feel a crazy burning anger towards your ex for toying around with you like that. For not having the balls to just break up, after spending two years together. 

He was suppose to know you. To be your friend. Things could have turned out better. He could have just come up to you, say the truth, and…You were pretty sure you’d still be friend. Because he really was a great guy. 

He really was all the good thing you though about him. He made a mistake, an unforgivable one in your book. But he was a great guy. 

He was just…not your great guy. Not anymore at least. 

And you realized, there, quite drunk, that…It was ok.  

Your heart wasn’t broken.  

Your heart wasn’t broken. 

Your pride was. Your trust was. But your heart ? …Maybe you weren’t completely in love with him. You were best friends, yes, but love ? Maybe it wasn’t love…

Your heart wasn’t broken. 

“My heart isn’t broken.” 

You tell Red hood, looking at him right in his wonderful ocean blue eyes. And he looks right back at you, and just nods. Just like that. And then he pours you one last tequila shot. 

Because like your grandma would say : “When you make great discovery about yourself…Salt, tequila, lemon”. 

************

It took you only a few hours with him to realize that you weren’t in love with your ex, and that was kinda scary. Because this realization didn’t come from nowhere. 

Nope. 

But when he said that your ex broke your heart, you felt obligated to tell him that no. No your heart wasn’t broken. You were sad and angry, yes, but not heartbroken. For you, in that moment, it was important for this total stranger to know you weren’t actually in love. 

Hell, you didn’t even know yourself you weren’t that in love before you talked to him. It just came as a sudden, yet utterly true revelation. 

Because, and this wasn’t the alcohol speaking…You felt incredibly attracted to that guy. To Red Hood. Not just because of the white streak in his hair, and the eyes, and smile, and voice, and abs, and thick thighs. That too, sure, but not only…Nope. 

Nope. Not because of this. 

But because he had a tough day (he said so himself, explaining to you how he went through the window…he was fighting a super-villain when he got flung through your window, tough tough time ahem), and yet he sat with a crazy lady that peppered salt on his hand and practically forced him to take a tequila shot…

Because you could see in his eyes, and felt in your guts that he didn’t have an easy life…and yet he took a break from whatever he was doing to just sit with you and listen to you. He didn’t even make sense, that you trusted those feelings so fiercely. And yet, you did. Because he listened to you. 

He saw you were struggling and he stayed. And though you felt you couldn’t trust anyone at that time…You oddly felt like he was ok. 

Like he wouldn’t be the kind of guy to cheat, or run in the face of danger, leaving you all alone to fight off demons. 

In a few short hours, you fell for this guy more than you ever fell for your ex. 

What did that say about you uh ? …That was pretty pathetic…

************

Jason didn’t think that you were pathetic at all. 

On the contrary. If he went to seat with you, and drink with you, is because he was instantly mesmerized by you. 

And though he didn’t know at first why, now he was sure of it. 

It’s because you didn’t freak out. And something told him it wasn’t only because you were a bit drunk (he fell in drunk people’s home before…none reacted like you). 

Nope. It was because you were special. He just knew it. Special in every way. Funny. Beautiful. Genuinely listening to him when he was speaking. 

He peppered his own problems within your story, as you told him. And you listened. Hell, even referenced a few things he said early on, way later, while you were crazy drunk. You listened. 

You gave a total stranger that seemed to have a tough day some salt. And tequila. And lemons. 

And then you cared. You asked him a thousand times if he was ok, and he basically had to take off his armor to prove it so (to your eyes’ greatest pleasure…mm mm mm those muscles). 

Captivated. He was captivated by you. It was strange, and though he knew it was because you were special, he still was unclear as to why his feelings were that strong. 

For someone he just met. And barely knew. And only knew while drunk. 

You were just…Special. 

************

It was surreal. The all thing. 

What started as a night where you planned on wallowing your pain and drinking…ended up changing your life. 

And no one could convince you that it wasn’t Fate. Because what were the odds that Red Hood would fall through YOUR window after tripping (yeah you didn’t buy that “fighting super-villains thing” at all) ?

What were the odds of his timing being so perfect, arriving just before you started to cry ? Because there was no doubt in your mind that if he had come a few seconds later, he wouldn’t have stayed. 

He would have found a crying mess, and maybe he would have tried to confort you but…You wouldn’t have answered. In your “sad phase”, you only cry and whine. He would have eventually left. And the wonderful talk you’d just have, would never have happened. 

But instead. He came right before your lips touch that fatal shot of tequila that would have brought you into the “sad phase”. And took your drunkness down a notch. Rerouted your evening. 

You weren’t wallowing anymore, you were ranting. 

Sharing your anger and frustration. 

And he helped you realize that your ex wasn’t that perfect…That maybe it was just not meant to be…After all, he cheated on you. 

Uh. What a shame. You didn’t even know his name…”Red Hood”…

You wished you knew his name. 

************

The morning lights were rising, and the bottle of tequila was long gone. 

There were still salt and lemons though. For some reason, you decided to buy the entire grocery store’s stock of lemons. 

Red Hood stood up, and said he had to go. 

He was nice about it. Said it was a pleasure to have spend the night with you. You both laughed about the innuendos that ensued. 

You were exactly on the same page. And he understood all your joke referencing to pop culture… 

But it was time for him to go. And he apparently had no intention of telling you his real name. He didn’t hint either at ever coming back to see you again. 

And there was that. Just a nice night, spend talking to a genuine friend that you’ll never see again. 

A genuine friend that you didn’t even know a few hours before. 

Maybe it was the alcohol speaking. Maybe not. 

And even if you ended up never seeing him again, this evening truly changed your life…At least, it saved you from a heartbreak. Made you realize it wasn’t that.

Though, now, as he climbs out of the window again (he couldn’t possibly use the front door), you feel like the actual heartbreak is starting. 

Grandma’s remedy against heartbreak ? Right. 

Salt, tequila, lemon…

But the tequila is all gone. 

“I’ll send someone to fix that window…Sorry again about that. …Bye.” are his last words, and then he’s out. 

And the tequila is all gone. 

************

… 

…

…

…

Days pass by in a blur. 

Salt. Tequila. Lemon. 

Ugh. But you don’t want to this time. You don’t want to get drunk to forget. 

You don’t want to forget him. And you know it’s ridiculous to get that worked up over a guy you met one night and that will never come back. That you didn’t even know the name of. 

This entire night was weird anyway. 

Getting drunk with a dangerous night vigilante. Pouring your heart out to him, and him doing the same. The hell were you even thinking ? 

Salt. Tequila. Lemon. 

That would be a good idea to do this right now, because man…your heart hurt. More than when you discovered your ex sleeping with Nicole. From accounting. But you can’t resolve yourself to drink. To forget. Nope. Instead you…

*Knock knock knock*. 

Uh ? You take a quick look at your clock in the kitchen.10 pm. Who the hell is coming at 10 pm ?! It can only be bad news. Especially in Gotham…You peep into the eyehole and…

WHAT ?! 

You open your door quickly, and… 

“Told you I’d send someone to fix your window.” 

It’s him. It’s Red hood. But in…civilian clothes. 

His ass doesn’t look flat in jeans. 

He’s holding a window wrapped in cardboard, and there’s a toolbox at his feet. 

“Yeah, you did…come in.” 

************

Jason Todd. 

That’s his name. And connections are fast to be made in your brain. Jason Todd. Bruce Wayne’s adopted son. That supposedly died…ten years ago. 

And is Red Hood now. Oh. It makes sense. Even his little “killing criminals” thing while Batman never killed. You easily put two and two together. 

Red Hood. Jason Todd. Bruce Wayne. 

Wow. Can’t believe you never guessed that before. Of course Bruce Wayne is Batman. He’s got the motive, the means, the excuses…It’s so obvious. And yet, you never realized. And no one else in Gotham ever realized. 

Jason Todd. 

Now you know his name. 

And he’s fixing your window. Nobody ever fixed windows for you before (even those who broke it).

Um. To add to the “perfect man” list : “Handy”. 

Jason Todd.  

He quickly works the window up, and then he turns to you. While he was working you talked, as if you knew each other for years. Joking around. Like old friends. Like old extremely good and close friends. 

It fits. It clicks. It’s natural. You and him, him and you. 

Barely knowing each others, and yet knowing each others the best. 

Jason. Todd. 

He turns to you now, and with a smirk, he says : 

“Ya know, my grandma always say that when something good happens to you, you need to celebrate. And I feel like this, right now, you and I, though I have no idea what we’re doing and where it’s going…Well it’s still something to celebrate. And she always says, my grandma, that to celebrate perfectly you need…” 

You smile. 

Yeah. You don’t know where this thing between you two is going, but you do know that you never met someone who so fully understood you. 

And in such a short span of time. And you know you’re not mistaking. It’s a feeling too strong to be a mistake. 

He came back to fix your window for god’s sake. And trusted you enough to tell you his actual name. Without a second thought. Which meant everything. Especially since from all the hint he let slip through last time you saw each others, about his father, well…let’s just say telling people his real name wasn’t really something he was used to. 

But it just works. It fits. It clicks. It’s not like with your ex, because you don’t think you know it does. It just does. The fact that you say those next few words in perfect sync finishes to convince you : 

(“…And she always says, my grandma, that to celebrate perfectly you need…”) 

“Salt, tequila, and lemons.” 

______________________________________________

I’m so mad the Tumblr app crashed and I deleted the original post...Y’all were great and reblogged the hell out of it ! Which is why it got so many notes in such a short span of times. And feedbacks. I haven’t had that many feedbacks on a story in a long time. So just one last time and I won’t bother you with that again : Please, if you enjoyed this story, don’t hesitate to reblog it and share it with others. People who don’t follow me can’t really find my stories anymore so...you’re a big help by spreading them. It’s always very encouraging. 

And if you got the time, feedbacks are always hella appreciated and always make my day a little brighter <3. 

[the-accidentals]

Chapter 1

Laura walked in through the door of her shoddy apartment, the lights flickering on as she slumped down on her stained sofa, she wanted to order takeaway but knew she didn't have the money, life was way to expensive and this week had been a pile of horse shit if any one had been, her car was in the garage after it broke down a couple days ago, the bill was so high she would need to not eat for a month. Before getting off shift today she had seen a family of five burn, only 2 getting out alive, a baby and the father. She tried to not let her job get to her but fighting fires was the easiest part, watching the families as they realise that not everyone made it is the worst, you can feel the guilt in the air. We are trained to move on, you can't take every death personally or it kills you from the inside but whenever i see a family torn apart so abruptly the worry stays on my heart, seeing happy families destroyed was definitely the worst part of her job but laura still loved the job and everyone struggles with it so she just tries to leave the worry at work,but today it followed her home, there was just something about today, the fire had started in the oldests room, probably faulty electrics, she was barely out of primary school, just starting to think she was a grown up, it had already killed the middle kid by the time anyone realised and the mother just breathed in to much smoke, it was come and go for a bit but in the end she didn't even make it to the hospital. A happy family reduced to two, a morning father and a 2 month old girl, how she survived I don't know. All that innocence and such young lives torn away so quickly.

Laura stood up shaking her head, it's not good to stay focused on the bad things, noodles and beer and an early night and she can sort everything else out in the morning.She has parents she can beg for money,they won't be happy but they wont let her starve,she just wishes she didn't have to call. For tonight she resigned herself to the sofa with a bottle of cheap beer and some veg noodles, strolling through the internet. Eventually the sun was long gone and the shame came creeping back, she was sitting here running from her responsibilities with beer, noodles and a blanket around her, just trying to hide away on the internet, she was a grown woman, an adult. She closed down reddit and opened her emails, this was an adult thing, she could clear her inbox. Ad,ad,ad,scam,ad,ad, important thing she should of replied too, she was trying to be grown up but that was slightly too grown up, ad, bank statement, don't want to look at that, oh nice easy one, the unit chief is trying to set up a quiz night, he needs to know when i'm free, i can do that. After a couple minutes of checking her calendar, which was embarrassingly empty she had formed an adult but chill response. There! She had been an adult, she had written an email and deleted a few more. She scanned over the rest hoping they could wait a few more days until a quiet moment at work, one caught her eye, an email from a trial company, she did a couple of studies a few years back to get some extra cash and extra cash was just what she needed, she looked into it, it was a medical study looking into a mental health drug, they needed people with diagnosed mental illness so she knew she would fit right in. Drug trials were not her thing but the pay was pretty good, two injections a week, £50 each, it lasted 12 months but you could leave whenever, just under £5,000 for the whole year, she probably wouldn't hang on that long but long enough that she could fix her beat up honda and still eat. Honestly how could she resist? The testing facility was a 15 minute walk away from the fire station as well. Fuck me if was perefect, no nagging from anyone about “being an adult” and “looking after your finances”. Laura finally went to bed that night, slightly tipsy, exhausted but slightly less stressed.

Laura had 2 days until she got paid and she had her first appointment for the trial today, it was a rolling study so there was no set start date. She had promised steve, the mechanic down the road, that he would get paid the bill as soon as she got paid so that he would carry on working with no money upfront, to be honest he totally owned lorna one, she had set him up with an ex of hers about a year back and she had never seen him happier. She walked up to a little privately owned clinic that she had never noticed before, it was smart but felt way to clinical, the lights were so bright it burnt and like all of these places the smell of cleaner was so strong you could taste it, she popped her phone into the pocket of her oversized jacket as she came to the front desk, the lady at the desk looked he up and down, I suppose she didn't really look like she belonged, it didn't look like a cheap sort of place.” hi i'm here for the trial, umm laura burmwell” laura muttered into the ground,she hated reception staff, they always seemed super judgy and this lady was no different, she tapped away at her screen for a few very awkward moments and sighed, pointing me to a section of chairs near the back. Pulling her earphones out she landed in a seat.

“Dont worry she wasn't very nice to me either” a voice chucked next to her, a small grinning woman sat there tapping on her phone, laura smiled back, she was gorgeous, long black hair down to her waist, out shining laura’s dirty blonde mess any day.

“ I’m glad she doesn't just hate me” Lorna joked, internally panicking. Why is such a cute woman actually talking to me? She suddenly felt amazingly underdressed, she was sat next to a stunning women who was clearly ready to go to work in a nice yellow dress and a jacket and she is there look like a gay hobo, hair up in yesterdays bun and a t shirt that has dinosaurs on it, at she is wearing smartish jeans. “I’m laura, are you here for the study?” she smiled.

“Preet, yeah, i'm hoping they can cure the fuckery going on in my head before the end of it” she chuckled but I could see the blush forming over her skin as she processed what she had said, Laura just snorted, tapping her leg on the linoleum floor, trying to think of something to say, her mind in overdrive.

“ nervous?” Preet questioned.

“i just haven't been in a drug trial for years, what if I grow four heads or something?” She joked, Preet actually burst out laughing, tears starting to form in her eyes, which got Laura laughing too, they just sat there trying to hide there laughter from the rest of the very serious looking members of the waiting room, finally after about 5 minutes they both calmed down enough to speak, laughter still glistening in their eyes.

“ but seriously these drugs will of been tested for years before it gets to these sorts of tests, its perfectly safe, they are just proving it and checking out side effects, im sure you wont grow any more heads.” At that moment Preets name was called over the speaker system, Secretly both of them were hoping they had been forgotten about so they could sit here and chat all day but neither of them said it.

“See you later Laura” Preet called as she picked up her stuff and started to follow the now waiting nurse.

Lorna went back to her music, trying to pull a stupid grin off her face.

1941- September 5th

I walked into surgery, on the bench was the patient, a young soldier, barley 19. He was burning up. Nurse Weber was standing there, trying to cool him down while setting up. He had a gun wound that was starting to get infected and the bullet had yet been removed. We set to work, removing infected tissue and finding bits of the shattered bullet but further we got the more futile it became, he kept losing blood and nothing we could do would keep his temperature down, he was pretty much dead in front of us. The nurse looked up, exhaustion in every wrinkle in her face, defeat in her eyes, im sure she had been on duty when he came on, over 10 hours earlier. With an air of defect I started sawing him up, giving him a dose of penicillin and covering the wound with gauze. I doubt he would make the night but we had tried. I removed my bloodied gloves and left. Hoping to be able to rest now. My eyes started over at the dying children and men who fill the halls. when will the war end, when will the suffering stop, have not enough died for the righteous cause? I started towards the boards, I was still on duty for another few days before I could head home. As i passed through the corridors i passed a officer asking about his son, every has someone fighting in this war to end all wars, he came to a halt in front of me desperately asking for his sons conduction, i had treated him when he first got brought in, he was going to make it but he no longer had a left leg, a bomb had hit near trench and had impaled his leg. As he quickly dismissed me, relief clear on his face, you could clearly see the shine on his Swastika pin. “Heil Hitler” I murmured as he marched away into the chaos

This is the first part of a longer story and my first time doing any serious writing, any advice welcome! I know it isn't perfect but I tried so I hope you enjoy it xx

[rosepetalmark]

Not in the Stars

2.5k words

Renjun x Reader

warnings: alcohol mention

in which you plan to confess your love for your best friend to him at a party, but the universe has other plans in store for the both of you. 

You like Renjun. A lot. 

That was one sentence in your five years of friendship with Huang Renjun that you never thought you’d say to yourself, let alone admit to. 

You don’t know where these feelings came from, but all you know is that they’re strong and on your mind twenty four seven. Everything he says and does captivates your mind, causing your feelings for him to grow even stronger.

It’s as if these feelings for him suddenly hit you like a brick one day. You were strictly best friends last week, and now you have these unexplainable deep feelings for him, eating you alive and begging for you to confess to him.

It’s not that you’re opposed to dating Renjun, it’s just that he’s been your best friend for several years and he means so incredibly much to you. You just don’t want to risk losing him or making things between you two weird if he doesn’t feel the same. 

So you suppress your feelings. As long as you have Renjun as your best friend, that’s all that matters, right?

Jaemin always makes you second guess yourself, explaining that the dynamic duo that you and Renjun are would be ten times more incredible if you were dating. Since you’re already best friends and know everything about each other, why not date? Only bigger and better things can come from it he always says.

Although Jaemin makes strong points, you’re still scared Renjun will turn you away, mainly because you’re ninety nine percent certain that he only views you as a friend, nothing more and nothing less. 

Yeah you have sleepovers  and spend hours late at night talking on the phone with one another, but that’s what best friends do. If Huang Renjun has any feelings for you, you’re sure someone would have said something by now. 

You get the typical stares from old people when you make your daily trek to school in the morning, him waiting outside your house for you at exactly seven forty two, smiling so bright the second you walk out your front door.  

You constantly get mistaken as his girlfriend whenever you go out together on the weekend, which always causes a deep pink blush to appear on Renjun’s cheeks. He’s always quick to brush it off though, making it clear to everyone around you that you’re strictly best friends, and that neither of you view each other in that way. 

Boy is he wrong.

Everything about Renjun makes your heart flutter, and that’s something that scares you.

For starters, he excels so well in school. For someone who spends eighty percent of his time doodling instead of taking notes, he aces every test and can recite every piece of information that’s been discussed in class with no problem.

He’s caring and funny, and so unapologetically himself. He takes you to art museums on your spare time, talks about the latest conspiracy that’s on his mind, and always insists you go for milkshakes every Sunday night.

And boy was he cute. The way he tilts his head all the way back and crinkles his eyes when he laughs makes your heart absolutely melt.

Huang Renjun makes you happy and positive and there’s nothing more in this world that you want than to hold his hand and kiss him in public, as well as call him your boyfriend so bad. 

It wasn’t until you were out late with him, hanging out on the roof at Jeno’s house, trying to escape the loudness that was coming from inside. Jeno was throwing a kickback to celebrate the beginning of summer, something he does ever year, in which there’s always too many people inside, and you and Renjun find yourself on the roof trying to seek solace in the stars. 

Renjun looked so ethereal in the moonlight. There was nothing more that you wanted to do than press your lips ever so gently against his, and hold his hand while staring up at the stars displayed so brightly above you both in the dark sky. 

“What are you thinking about bubs?” Renjun asked, referring to the nickname he gave you when he found out that’s the name you gave your favourite stuffed rabbit when you were a child. 

God the way his voice sounded in this moment made you weak. The tipsiness you both experienced earlier was wearing off, causing your lack of hydration to become present through your raspy voices. 

But you don’t care. You’re with Renjun, and you are warm and comfortable and in love. 

In love. 

You’re in love with Huang Renjun and you can’t keep it in any longer.

Maybe this would be the best time to tell him. Every time you’re completely sober, you push the idea to the side, trying your best to forget your feelings for him even exist. What if Jun doesn’t feel the same? What if he does but months down the line you figure out you’re better off as friends, and then when you try to get back into your non-romantic routine, everything feels off? You always worry that things will go wrong and Renjun will eventually stop being your friend.

Not tonight though. Renjun looks gorgeous in the moonlight and the little bit of alcohol that remains in your system is acting as your source of encouragement, convincing you to confess to him right now and hope for the best outcome possible. 

“Love,” you reply nonchalantly. 

“Love?” he questions, staring back to you, seemingly surprised with your response. 

“Yeah. Just wondering what the universe has in store for me, you know?” you ask, turning your body to face his direction, criss crossing your legs over one another. “The idea of love both intrigues me and freaks me out. It’s exciting anticipating what will come from it, but the fear of something going wrong down the line makes me not want to pursue it, you know?” you say, staring innocently into his eyes.

He cocks his head, an intrigued look falling on his face. He purses his lips, looking as if he’s going to say something, but remains silent. 

You both remain in silence for the next several minutes, which causes your thoughts to wander. What if Renjun has caught on? Maybe he’s thinking of ways to turn you down gently. Or he’s trying to express that he somehow knows you’re talking about him, and he’s trying to do so in a similar manner. 

But the silence is killing you, and you want nothing more than for Renjun to say something. Anything to get your thoughts to shut up, and your heart race to stop rapidly beating.

“I think you shouldn’t be scared of love,” he finally says. 

Taking a deep breath, he looks off into the sky, admiring the many stars laying millions of miles away from you both. “I get that you never know what may come out of it, but I think it’s worth a shot to know you tried, and to experience something you’re not fully sure is going to work,”  he speaks softly.

“Take a look at the universe for example. It’s so big and undiscovered, yet millions of people are fascinated by it. We’re obsessed with the stars and galaxies and the possibility of aliens- which I know for a fact exist by the way, yet we’re not afraid to spend our time discovering them and giving them our attention. I think of love in a similar manner. Yeah the thought seems so broad and scary, as there’s so many things to experience and discover, but I think it’s worth it. You’re only going to learn new things about yourself and life, so why not give it a shot?”

He clears his throat, and pays his attention back to you. He has a look of determination in his eyes, and that only makes you grow even more anxious.

“Aren’t you a wise expert on love, Mr. Huang,” you chuckle.

“Well what can I say? I do a lot of thinking on my spare time when I’m not bickering with you,” he laughs, positioning himself on his arms so he can get a better view of the night sky.

“Hey!” you shout, pushing onto his arm, causing him to lose his newly comfortable position and to fall on his back. “What are you thinking about Ren? You have this sour look on your face.”

“Well your idea of love got me thinking,” he says softly, staring into your eyes.

Nervousness takes over your body. You have no idea what he’s going to say, and every second of silence is eating you up.

“And?” you say abruptly, eager to know what he’s about to say. 

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, and I don’t know, I never thought much of it because I’m a wimp, but I think I’m going to ask Yeri out” he confesses, a small smile forming on his face. 

The mention of Yeri makes your heart sink. Yeri. He wants to ask out Yeri. Not you. 

Of course he likes Yeri. What isn’t there to like about her? She’s really pretty and polite, and they’re both the editors of the school newspaper, so they spend a great amount of time with each other. 

God this hurt. 

“Oh really,” you respond, with a less enthusiastic tone replacing your prior happy one.

“Yeah. We’ve been getting to know each other a lot more ever since we got asked to do this editorial on the basketball team, and I think I may have feelings for her”

“Well, um I think you should go for it Renjun, “ you reply, looking off into the stars to help keep what’s happening off your mind. If you look into his eyes, you’re certain you’ll start crying.

If it’s not you, you’re glad he has an interest in a girl with a golden heart and personality. 

“You think? What if she doesn’t like me?” he asks nervously, fiddling with the rings on his fingers.

“Like you said Ren, you never know what will come from love. Why not give it a shot if it’ll lead to potentially greater things not only within yourselves, but life in general? And if she ends up only seeing you as a friend, it’s okay. You’ll find someone one day who loves every part of you.”

And you can’t help but know deep down that that person is you. If Yeri rejects him, you’ll be right here to help him pick up the pieces, if not, you’ll still be here. As his best friend. Renjun deserves all the love and happiness the universe has to offer him, and despite being sad he shows no romantic interest in you, you’re glad he finds it in an amazing girl. 

“Alright cool, I guess I’ll ask her out on Monday when we meet up to discuss the paper then.” he says, smiling to himself. 

He looks so happy. Ecstatic even. You haven’t seen him smile this big since he won first place in your school’s art show.

“She’s here you know, at the party,” you say to him. “You should do it now.”

“You think?” he asks, eyes wide. 

Renjun was never one to act on impulse. He’s a man with a plan, and always has to do things by the book or else he’ll lose his hair. He likes structure and time, a complete flip from your bold and impulsive self. 

“Yeah, why not? You’re both here, you look really cute right now, and the stars are out in your favour, shining bright to provide you with the courage to do so.” 

This makes Renjun smile. You’ve always been a help in boosting his confidence, and you’re glad to be of assistance in such a nerve-wracking yet exciting period in his life. 

Standing up, he dusts the possible dirt off his legs. He crouches over, looking into your eyes and grabs your hand. “You’re the best y/n. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“As I with you,” you reply, a soft grin forming from your lips. “Now go downstairs and ask her out before she leaves.”

Standing back up, he begins walking to the door. “I’ll let you know how it goes!” he half shouts, pressing his hand to the door handle,  and making his way back into the house. 

You’re now left alone, on the rooftop, with just the stars and your thoughts. 

Why didn’t you bring up your feelings to him sooner, you thought. Now you’re only left sad and alone, because you were too scared to tell your best friend you’re in love with him. Confessing to him seemed so perfect in your mind a couple minutes ago, but sadly the universe has other plans in store for you. 

You decide to get comfortable and lie down, and begin to look at the constellations that are possibly present within the night sky. You can still hear the loud, most likely drunk people just a floor below you, and the vibration of the music hitting your body despite being away from the noise. But you don’t care. It’s just you and the sky, and you’re doing everything in your power to forget about the party below you, and to focus on the stars. 

As you point out the orion in the sky, you feel a buzz in your back pocket, indicating that you’ve got a text. Reaching for it, you unlock your phone, and see a notification stating that Renjun messaged you. Pressing on the messages app, you click on his name and read the following:

jun bug: she said yes!! we’re going out on tueday after we’re done editing :) (2:17 AM)

“Yes.” Yeri said yes. 

You’re happy for your best friend, but for yourself, you’re heartbroken. The possibility of dating him is now slim to none, especially since a potential girlfriend is in the mix, only making you more sad for yourself. 

You make sure to reply quick, and in a way that’ll make him happy, and hopefully provide you with the positivity that everything will be okay.

y/n: i’m so happy for you ren <3 (2:18 AM)

As you press send, you feel the tears start to slide down your cheeks. You’re happy for him, you really are, but you can’t help but wish that things went differently, and that you were in Yeri’s position. 

But as Renjun said before, love can be scary. It’s a learning experience, and if it doesn’t work out, you just need to take what you can from it, and hope for the best in the future. 

So you’ll take his words, and you’ll try your best to move on. 

It’ll be tough, but you hope to god that one day he’ll just be your best friend, and that this heartbreak won’t last with you forever. 

[malarkis]

TURN drunk/drinking headcanons

had a lil drinky dranks with friends and got thinking about this afterwards. im pretty sure someone else did this though. i think i got everyone, so it’s a bit long and honestly just for shits and giggles. i am very sorry ------------------------ Ben Tallmadge - boy finally lETS LOOSE, but not in a wild way. he’s just overly friendly and will laugh at about anything. greets random people at the party. red as a tomato. first to hit that “oh god why did i do this” stage of sobering up Abraham Woodhull - the absolute madman. there is no dare he doth not do. ends up standing on a table at some point. ends most sentences in “ man” at a certain level of half drunk-half sober. falls off most surfaces. terrible balance Mary Woodhull - cheering on Abe at the start of the night. can probably down more than anyone else there. queen of the shots. drunkenly worrying about Abe by the end of the night. tipsy walks back to the car, but knows exactly where they parked Anna Strong - she and Mary are a force to be reckoned with in any drunken competition, simply abort all hopes of winning. stupidly good at aiming when drunk. probably makes a game out of it and has a few others cheering her on. drunkenly teaches you something. sobers up the fastest and check on everyone. probably one of the last ones and helps clean up and chats with you during Caleb Brewster - no idea why but i see him as the first to start, but also the one who can hold is alcohol the best?? the conscious mother hen drunk. never truly out of control. saving ben from something. mixes random drinks that sound awful but taste gr8. doesn’t know how to use the shaker, but looks cool with it anyway. unofficial guidance counsellor of the night

Washington - doesn’t actually get heavily drunk, but hits that borderline tipsy sometime during the night. actually knows how to use the shaker and looks cool with it anyway. will sit you down for a lecture on different whiskies or something. will call someone son by the end of the night. strong and affirming back pats Peggy Shippen - that one girl crying in the bathroom. but also that one girl you befriend in the bathroom and plan a drunken brunch with. came with andré but lost him somehow. 50+ pictures of you two together looking gr8 and remembers to tag you later on John André - started off strong, but got a lil bit weepy. perked right back up though - what a champ. came with peggy but lost her somehow. the sloppy fancy drunk who everyone had a nice time with. brought some imported alcohol. brings out the flute at the end of the night when about five of you are left. bad relationship advice Alexander Hamilton - one man drunken debate team. would probably win said debate anyhow. see saws between happy drunk to angry drunk in a few minutes. probably brings up conspiracy theories at some point. that one guy who you’ll chill with at the end of the party, probably on a lawn chair or something, just talking as you sober up Abigail - drunk or sober, she’s your Best friend at the party. would try not to get drunk, but let herself have a little fun because she works HARD. will hold up your hair while you vom. drunken witty comebacks and jokes for days Akinbode - can and will outdrink you. probably will compete with Mary at some point. intense drunk. he came to have a good time and he’s having it, but he’s also tired and spacing out. starts out strong, but also the one you need to check on later on and tap on the shoulder to see if they’re alive. dancey dancey Edmund Hewlett - nervously agrees to get turnt, but has a gd ball afterwards. you lose him mid party and find him with some sort of pet. laughing at his own jokes, but its endearing. got drunk on like sherry or something. does ONE dumb thing, quiet regret. Feels It(TM) when Coldplay’s “Yellow” plays at some point. brings out a board game. ends up in the pool but not by choice. John Simcoe - is the one who got Hewlett into the pool by some strange reason. not the first to get drunk, but definitely not the last. bit of a close talker. somehow ends up in a bit of a tussle during the party. wanders aimlessly around the house. forgot what he was looking for. you find him in the basement or den looking through music or something. originally came because Anna did. taking André’s bad advice Lafayette - voted most fun at the party. the endearing and a little clingy drunk. makes like 10 new friends even if they cannot understand one another. random yelling/singing in french. gets his new friends to sing in french with him, albeit poorly. nonetheless he is impressed. “i love you guys so much” x20. last to sober up. doesn’t realize how loud he is. losses all consciousness on the way home. probably sent you a novel of drunk texts Robert Townsend - “I’m so tired of being here”. watching over Abe and the gang, but also getting quietly turnt. actually has really good music and secretly gets to the aux/speakers. designated driver. makes coffee for everyone at some point. it’s probably his house and he puts up the “leave by nine” banner Robert Rogers and Sackett and Papa Townsend - who invited their horribly Bad Influence uncles to the party?? ratchet mixology crash course in the kitchen. pitching ideas to the young’uns. bad jokes. hijacks the music at some point - their choices range from absolute bangers to why do you even have this???? Ensign Baker - still a Good Boy. took the longest to get drunk, but got there somehow. probably took one of the drinks made by Sackett or Rogers and passed out somewhere on the couch. helps Anna with the cleaning afterwards, still drunk yet aware enough to tell you to text him when you get home safely. also insists on walking people out when they leave and saying bye, it’s not his house though Benedict Arnold - the worst drinking companion. everything is a competition and he will hijack several conversations during the night. please dont give him the speakers/aux chord. the spotify DJ feat. unwanted ads. bets galore. news flash, he lost all of them. just as bad as when he’s sober. please go home